Hey reader. You're looking lovely today. Ok. Enough with this shit! I'm fucking sick of faking my emotions! I hate my life. I just wanna die! I've had thoughts about killing myself, yeah, I've self harmed, yeah, but right now, my dad made me have a fucking panic attack! Because of fucking school. He doesn't understand how hard it is. Sure, sure, I have friends. They make school easier for me. But when you have teachers that you DON'T know from somewhere, and they all yell at you because you forgot your folder in your locker!? It's scary! They can all go to hell. I always have someone being like "Hey Haley. We've been noticing you've been having alot of problems lately, you know maybe you should get away, maybe you should talk about it you'll feel alot better" and I go "No it's ok, you know, I'll just figure it out myself so just leave me alone" and they go "well ok, but if you want to talk about it, I'll be right here, but I think you should talk about it, so why don't you talk about it" and i go "NO!!! I DON'T WANNA TALK ABOUT IT, JUST LEAVE ME ALONE" and I come off as the asshole!? You know, trying to pressure a person with depression to talk about something just makes them snap at you, because it's our defense mechanism. It's our first response! And WE come off. As the fucking ASSHOLE!??!!? It's like, WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU!? WE'RE JUST TRYING TO GET OVER THIS! And then there's always that ONE person who's like "it's bad for you if you bottle up your emotions, you should let them out" but they're the ones who judge others just because they can't control their emotions correctly? It's like "GOD YOU IGNORANT BASTARD, STEP OFF" and then, again, we come out as the assholes, because we decide to stick up for our fellow.... Not emos, emo is to stereotypical for depressed people... *whispers to self* what am I supposed to call them......... *turns back to reader* Anyway! We're protecting each other, so step off! And to those parents who send their kids to counseling because of depression, stop. Just stop. Unless they request it, stahp!!!!
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A Long Goodnight - My Fight With Depression
Non-FictionThis is going to be a daily report of my battle with social anxiety and depression. It's not a story, this is as real as it gets. It'll be like a diary.