Inside The Mind Of Flitz (25)

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Author's Notes: *Insert comment here* Chapter 25 goooooooooooooooooo!


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Flitz POV: 

I thought you were different. I thought you were caring. You promised me. You promised me you loved me. That's why I went out and bought that ring, and got down on one knee and fucking proposed. Yeah, I fucking proposed to you, and just now I'm finding out that you're a huge dick. I guess I should have known this whole time. This whole relationship has been bullshit. You never loved me. You loved the idea  of us being on love. It was one-sided from the start. I was just too blinded by my emotions to realize that I was in love with a man that would never really love me back. 

God damn it, I'm so stupid. As I continue to walk down that hallway, nothing else matters. He'll never love me. It doesn't matter if we're getting married because he DOESN'T LOVE ME. Where am I even going? I don't know my way around my own house let alone Paris, France. You know what? It doesn't matter where I'm going. Somewhere. I'm going somewhere, and I don't know how or when I'll get there, but I will and I won't come back. 

So I walk, and walk, and walk. My legs are numb and my already limited vision blurred by tears. My mind has never been this blank. The only thing that passes through my mind is a memory. I don't feel any emotions or thoughts linked to it, just the memory. 

~4 Years Prior (Before Smosh Games)~

"Hey Flitz!" Wes yells. God, he's cute.

I smile at him. "Hey," I say in response. 

I watch as he sets down the box he was carrying and pulls two orios out of his pocket. He hands me one, and I can't help but laugh. Wes looks at me questioningly. "What?" he asks. 

"It's like your made out of sugar or something. I mean seriously, do you store all these cookies in your ass or something?" I say still laughing. 

He winks jokingly and joins my laughter. This is how it's always been between us. On the edge of friendship and something else. Well, that's how I see it. He probably thinks we're friends and nothing more. And besides, we've known each-other since high school, I think I'd know if he was gay. 

But that night, everything changed. I was on the phone with my friend Mari talking about anything and everything. If my life was the Olympics and one of the categories was friendship, I think she'd get the silver medal. Right after Wes of course. Anyways, we'd reached the point in our conversation when she'd feel obligated to ask about Wes because ONE time I mentioned having a crush on him, and she's unable to let it go. 

Assuming I was alone, I had my phone on speaker and was talking rather loud. 

"Just tell him, FLitz!" she said, obviously irritated. 

"Mari, he's not gay, if I told him, it'd just be awkward. I can't loose what I have with him," I whine trying to reason with him. 

"So what you're saying is that you're a pussy," she says deviously. 

"No I'm n-" I start. 

"Then tell Wes you fucking love him and be done with it because if you don't then nothing is going to happen. Something is better than nothing Flitz, why can't you just understand that?!" she yells. 

I don't reply. I might have. I might have thought of something to say in response. And I might have said it. And she might have hung up on me in anger. But I'll never know. Because none of that actually happened. What did happen? Wes. 

I hung up the phone right when I saw him enter the room, mouth wide in surprise. And I was about to say, "Well fuck," when he sat down on the bed and hugged he. And it wasn't an "I'm sorry, but I don't love you" hug. It was an honest to God "I love you too" hug. 

That night we talked and established that we were going to go out and date and do couples crap, but we weren't going to make it a big deal. We weren't "hiding" it from our friends per-say. We were merely not going to let that topic arise. And that was that. 

~Back to the the shitty present~

It's funny actually. A memory that once filled me with such joy was now laced with lies, betrayal, and heartache. 

It was as I was thinking of this that I neglected to look up and, seeing as buildings are things that exist, I ran into a wall. Startled, I fell down, but I didn't get up. Why should I? Ian didn't get up when he was shot. Wes barely got up when I left. So why should I get up now?

I've just about decided to stay there forever when I see Lasercorn and Sohinki pass by. This makes me get up. In fact, I don't just up. I don't just walk over to them either. I don't think running would be an appropriate word either. I sprint over to them. 

To say the lest, they don't look too thrilled to see me. No subtlety is shown. "Flitz, so glad to see you. Will you be joining the find our dead friend campaign?" asks Sohinki sarcastically. 

Lasercorn just sighs. "I told you," he says, "Ian's not dead." Well this is news to me, but I don't say anything. 

"Yes, actually, I will be joining this pity party you guys seem to be throwing," I say neither frowning nor smiling. 

And that's about where our conversation ends. Well...that is until Lasercorn finally pipes up. "Perhaps I should have said something earlier. A little while before Flitz joined our very sad party, I got a text from Mari." 

He shows us his phone, revealing that he did indeed receive a text from Mari. 

Orleans, France. 

Sohinki and I are equally confused, even more so when Lasercorn says, "I think it's where Ian is. Ian and Melanie." 

It's then that something snaps inside Sohinki. "AND WHAT IF MARI'S JUST FULL OF SHIT?!" he yells, "ACTUALLY, NOT "WHAT IF." SHE IS FULL OF SHIT, AND SO ARE YOU LASERCORN. I WAS THERE. I SAW IT HAPPEN. I'VE TRIED SO HARD TO UN-SEE IT, BUT I CAN'T. EVERY TIME I CLOSE MY FUCKING EYES, THAT'S ALL I CAN SEE. THE LOVE OF MY LIFE SHOT IN THE HEAD BECAUSE HE TRIED TO SAVE ME!"

"Sohinki.." I say trying to calm him down. 

"No, not "Sohinki." I haven't been Sohinki since Ian died. I haven't been anyone since Ian died. Ian was me. You just don't get it. I tried so hard to convince myself that he was dead. Every part of me wanted to believe he was alive, and I think a part of me still does, but I just won't allow myself to believe Ian is alive only to find his corpse in a river." He screams. 

By now, people are looking at us. I'm not sure how many of them speak English,  but no matter what language, it's clear to see that Sohinki is broken. This is further proven when tears begin pouring form his eyes and he collapses on the ground. 

I look over at Lasercorn, who seems just as shocked as  I am. I guess we shouldn't really be surprised, but it's just not like Sohinki. Even if he's going through something as terrible as Ian's death, this whole situation seems really out of the blue. "Lasercorn, do you remember where the car rental place is?" I ask. 

He nods, "Yeah. It's about 15 minutes away by car. I don't know how long it is by foot"

I sigh, pointing to a motel across the street. "Well, if we rent a room there, put Sohinki in bed, and leave him a note, then we can attempt to get a cab and make our way to the DMV." 

Lasercorn agrees to the plan, so we enter the motel, get a room, and lay Sohinki, who is now sound asleep, down on the bed. Of course, it helps that I can speak French, but I'm sure we'd have been able to do this regardless. After writing Sohinki a quick note, we hop in a cab and make our way to the DMV. 

After some thinking, I look over at Lasercorn. "Hey," I say, "For what it's worth, I believe you, and I think we need to go to Orleans."

Lasercorn half smiles. "Thanks," he says, "Oh, and I meant to ask you, why were you out there?" 

Sighing, I say, "Wes and I had a fight.."

I'm about to continue when Lasercorn cuts me off, "Then perhaps that's best left between the two of you." 

I smile. Lasercorn understands, and thank god for that. 

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