Hold on (BWWM)

Chapter 4

Kristen to the above/to the side.

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Chases PoV

Kirsten's little body bobbed, as she ran after her grandma and Chris, my younger brother, following them into the kitchen. Her hair bouncing with her trailing after the blur of her pink shoes.

"Chase! Are you listening to me?" Jo began to nag. I turned around to have Jo's death glare on me as usual, the green eyes should be lasers for the hole that she's burning in me. Despite the fact we're not together anymore she acts like a nagging wife.

"What Jo?" I ask in a deadpanp voice and began to head to my room.

"Who the hell was that? You've been here a week and found yourself a little play buddy already?" She huffed, trailing after me. "You know what, okay be a dick. But do not parade your little hoe in front of our daughter!"

"What?" I knew exactly what she was talking about, the way Jade looked at me had me... Well she had me excited if you know what I mean. I had got her number off one of the boys on the team and sent her an apology, yet she still hadn't replied. That went against my 'excitement', leaving my chest in a flurry of emotions following the eradic beating of my heart.

"Don't what me! You was basically drooling all over the girl across the street!" Her thin arms crossed defensively across her chest.

"Is someone jealous?" I smirked.

"Please, I just don't want a hoe around my daughter. I mean what the hell was she wearing?" Funny how she claims not to be jealous yet the throbbing vein on her forehead, that was ever so present in our relationship, was oh so prominent.

"Funny, look who is talking," I muttered under my breath, taking a seat on my bed.

"Excuse me! Do you really wanna talk about which one of us is a hoe?" She scoffed.

"Jo, look I'm tired. I can't be asked for this right now."

"Funny, I'm not the one who started this!" She stomped her foot.

"I would advice you to keep your voice down or expect my mom in-"

"Chase you just called me a fùcking hoe and you expect me to calm down! The father of my child said I a fùcking hoe!"

"Okay that, was uncalled for. I'm sorry Jo, I take it back. Better?" How the hell did she hear it in the first place?

"No! It out there now. Is that really what you think of me?" Shìt, I hated it when she cried and the look on her face she was about to blow.

"No, I honestly don't." Well not now.

"So what you was just getting defensive over your little girlfriend?" Her eyes welled with tears.

"No, Jo. We aren't even friends."

"Why would you call me a hoe then?" Her voice went down by a zillion octaves, barely making it out as squeak. I got up and walked to her, holding her hand in mine.

"Jo, I was being dick, I've been driving all day and Seeing my dad. I'm hontesly sorry," I placed a kiss on her check. She looked up at me, with that look in her eyes and I felt even more like a dick. I knew she was going to bring it up again, but I don't understand why she can't see it for herself. We are stupid together, it should have just been one of those two week relationships yet now here we are bound for life. I would rather die than for us to have not have had Kristen yet that doesn't mean we should be together.

With mine and Jo's relationship, there was literally only three sides to it, me consoling her, her shouting at me and sex.

We just weren't meant to be together. The sex part was great, yet we were both dying on the inside yet she acts like she's forgetten everything. Every time she cried herself to sleep next to me. Every time she refused me to touch her. Every time I wasn't even there. We're better like this. I will always love her. Just not in the way she thinks she needs. If this was the perfect world we would have met when we wouldn't have met when I was 14 and she was 15, we wouldn't have had a miscarriage the first time, we wouldn't have had Kristen so young. We could have been together, if we just hadn't have met so young.

"Come on," I grabbed her hand, and pulled the covers down letting her slip in then following her lead. Her head found my chest and my arms around her waist. "Jo. Please. Don't." I whispered. She didn't reply, but what could she reply.

We lay there, cocooned in each other, something that had once meant so much now void of everything. Well for me. It scares me sometimes that maybe it's my fault, maybe I am leading her on. But we've always been like this even before we were together, it's Joanna Frost, how else am I meant to be with her? She was once my everything. She was the girl everyone drooled over, she had us all infatuated with her. The forefront of all of our fantasies, then suddenly she wasn't just in my fantasies.

"Chase, you I know I forgive you. Forgive. Yourself," that lingered in the air, long after her breathing slowed and her eyes closed.

"How?" I finally breathed into the lifeless room. As if on cue my phone vibrated in my jeans pocket.

Jade: apology accepted.

****

Authors note: sorry that it's so short, but it didn't feel right making it longer. Updates are coming as soon as possible guys! Please vote&comment!