What is happening to me?

The rain doesn't fall as it perhaps should, and the sky isn't as grey with a brewing storm as I may find myself inclined to becoming familiar too, but although the world is reacting in its own way with no influence of my own tremulous emotions, I still feel as large an impact as I would if every molecule on Earth acknowledged the pain I feel at this moment.

"Woe is me!" Famously I quote.

For at this period of my life it summarizes up my experiences and feelings like nothing else can, for everyday feels like a Monday. Everyday feels the same with no bouncing spiral of enjoyment but instead just...bland, plain, simplistic views upon the world and my life.

Is it plausible to others when I announce that I have not felt happiness in a long time?

I cannot remember happiness.

Does happiness strive often in our lives or is it too large a word to be used on growing adults, for it seems only children can truly feel happiness.

Yet I thought I was a child still but as the days increase and pass by, I reflect on my life and doubt this hope more and more.

I fell into love and it was wonderful.

Then it seems I did not treat it with the delicacy it deserved and desired which consequently lead me to fall out of love.

I am one for romance! But where has my romantic nature gone?

I grew too selfish in love. Too vain...and it paid the price upon ne to feel this way.

To hurt my lover. To cause her pain.

I announced I was out of love! But now I think I am not out of love but out of life. Bored of life. Tired. Of life.

I am exhausted. I am reaching but always falling and behind this confident persona I feel I am as vulnerable as a fawn. I'm hiding myself behind a mask and yet I wish someone would find me with kind words instead of falling for this person I feel I am becoming.