The rain doesn't fall as it perhaps should, and the sky isn't as grey with a brewing storm as I may find myself inclined to becoming familiar too, but although the world is reacting in its own way with no influence of my own tremulous emotions, I still feel as large an impact as I would if every molecule on Earth acknowledged the pain I feel at this moment.
"Woe is me!" Famously I quote.
For at this period of my life it summarizes up my experiences and feelings like nothing else can, for everyday feels like a Monday. Everyday feels the same with no bouncing spiral of enjoyment but instead just...bland, plain, simplistic views upon the world and my life.
Is it plausible to others when I announce that I have not felt happiness in a long time?
I cannot remember happiness.
Does happiness strive often in our lives or is it too large a word to be used on growing adults, for it seems only children can truly feel happiness.
Yet I thought I was a child still but as the days increase and pass by, I reflect on my life and doubt this hope more and more.
I fell into love and it was wonderful.
Then it seems I did not treat it with the delicacy it deserved and desired which consequently lead me to fall out of love.
I am one for romance! But where has my romantic nature gone?
I grew too selfish in love. Too vain...and it paid the price upon ne to feel this way.
To hurt my lover. To cause her pain.
I announced I was out of love! But now I think I am not out of love but out of life. Bored of life. Tired. Of life.
I am exhausted. I am reaching but always falling and behind this confident persona I feel I am as vulnerable as a fawn. I'm hiding myself behind a mask and yet I wish someone would find me with kind words instead of falling for this person I feel I am becoming.
YOU ARE READING
What is happening to me?
Teen FictionLife is something delicate and challenging, so through the power of first person narrative, it is something all can become familiar with.