Demons - Larry Stylinson

Chapter 4

"Louis? You're mum's on the phone. Do you want me to tell her you're busy?" I hear Harry's voice outside our bedroom door. 

"I'll be right out." I mutter before slipping out of bed. The freezing cold air causes a shiver to go up my spine. I grab a hoodie and sweats, pulling them on and opening the door.

Harry is standing there, my phone in his hand. His eyes are bloodshot from this morning. I sigh and grab the phone and press it to my ear. I start to shut the door slowly. He grabs it to stop it. I shoot him a pleading look.  He gives me a concerned frown, before letting me close it the rest of the way in front of him. I feel bad, but I need to be alone. 

"Mum?" I say, slightly exasperated.

"Louis! Oh it's been so long. I'm so happy to hear your voice. How are you pumpkin?" Her caring voice nearly brings me to tears. How come mum's just have the power to do that?

I swallow back my tears, feeling like there is a wad of cotton in my throat. "I'm good mum. Everything's great." That sounded believable, right?

"Louis. What's wrong?" Crap, she knows.

"It's nothing Mum I-"

"Louis. Tell me what is wrong, right now, before I drive up to London at this second." I let out a little laugh. What's funny is she's being serious. I can see it now.

"It's just, it's me and Harry." I can practically see her frown through the phone.

"What could possibly be happening? Is he cheating on you Louis?" She says hurriedly. I stifle a surprised gasp. 

"No, no not at all Mum. He would never. No. Um, well, you know that medication he is taking to help with his schizophrenia? Well, he hasn't been taking it. And, it's acting up really bad. And now he's refusing to let me take him to therapy." I choke out the last bit, barely holding back my tears. 

She is silent for a moment. All I can hear is her unsteady breathing over the phone. I can just see her frowning, trying to work this out in her head, even though there is nothing that she can say to make it better. 

"Louis, I- I don't know what to say. Why would Harry do something like that?" Confusion overcomes her tone. 

I just shake my head. I know she can't see me, but that's all that I can bring myself to do right now. I blink hard, more tears spilling out. What have I gotten myself into? I let out a sob.

I hear a knock on the door. 

"Louis? Are you okay?" Harry's soft voice soothes me.

"Mum, I gotta go. It was nice to talk to you. I'll call you soon. Love you."

"I love you too Louis. Just remember that Harry loves you, yeah?"

"Yeah Mum, I gotta go. Tell the girls I said hi."

I end the call and throw my phone onto the bed. I head over to the door to let Harry in.

"Louis, I heard what you said. I'm sorry. This is all my fault."

I don't even have the energy to argue with him about listening in on my conversations with my mother. I just huff and move to my bed, Harry trailing close behind me.

I am so unsure of what to do. I feel like I have no right to be mad at Harry, yet at the same time I am. It's not like he can get rid of his illness. I haven't been in his situation. I don't know what it's like to take a medicine that alters my mood and personality like Harry has to.  I am not the one that has to deal with the schizophrenia. Remorse floods my veins. Harry is standing above me, an unsure expression clear in his features.  

"Harry, I'm sorry with how I have been treating you lately. I know this is really hard for me, but I always forget what it's like for you. I'm sorry for being so selfish. I just,  I wish you would take your medicine. I feel like, when you don't, it's not you. It's like I speaking to a completely different person. And I know it's not your fault, it's just, I don't know. I'm sorry."

Harry looks at me for a second. He opens his mouth to speak, before shutting it again. I see a few tear welling up his eyes. 

"Louis I'm so sorry. I'm such a, God I'm such a screw up. Everything would be normal again but of course I had to ruin everything. It's my fault that we aren't happy anymore. And don't even try saying that it's not, because I know that it is. I just hope that you still love me."  He looks up at me, his eyes big.

I stare at this man that stole my heart all of those years ago. I know I can never stop loving him. I love him with everything that I have, every bit of my soul.  How could he think I could ever stop?

"Harry, Haz, I love you so much. I love you, I love you I love you. I will tell you this until you believe me because it's very important that you know this. We can get through this, together. I know that we can. You just need to listen to me, and you're right, I need to listen to you too. We are a team, and we need to lean on each other we can do this. I promise."

Harry buries his face in my chest. I run my fingers through his hair, shushing him as he sobs uncontrollably. We slowly lower to the ground until I am sitting on his lap with his head against my chest, tight enough that he can probably hear my heartbeat. I hope he can hear how hard it beats for him. 

I don't know how, but we will get through this. I kiss his forehead and left myself drift off.