Healing

AN: Hi! This is my first story on here, and I don't really know how this whole thing works! I hope you enjoy! And if not, I would love to hear some things that I could improve on with my writing style or just things I can do to help this story!

"You can't start a fire; you can't start a fire without a spark. This guns for hire, even if we're just dancing in the dark" 

I groaned and flung my pillow over my head, burrowing deeper under the covers that offered me protection from the bitter morning air. My hands fumbled around until they smacked the alarm clock and the music stopped blaring. It was the first day of school, and at this moment, I wanted nothing more than to curl up in bed with my Harry potter books and read the day away, which was exactly what I had done all summer. But, unfortunately, I had school to attend, and I wasn't about to start my first day of grade 11 in a new school off with a detention for being late. 

I slipped out of bed, exposing my skin to the crisp fall air. I had stupidly left my window open last night, so my room was freezing. You'd think that after 10 years of living in this town I would finally start to remember that fall always comes a little early here, so I should stop leaving my window open! I lunged towards the window and successfully slammed it shut. 

Everything in my body told me to lie back down; fall back into a deep dream where I wouldn't have to go to this new school and pretend like everything was okay, pretend like what had happened didn't still haunt me every time I closed my eyes. Everything was most definitely not okay. You see, I wasn't changing schools because I moved, or because I needed a different education program. I changed schools because it was the only thing that would keep me safe. 

I shuddered at the memories and quickly tried to think of something else, anything that would prevent me from having another flashback. I stumbled towards the bathroom, still a little disoriented seeing as how I had only just woken up. I stripped off my pj's and jumped into the shower, letting the scalding hot water run down my back. I shampooed my hair, stifling a groan every time I raised my arms. The cuts on my chest and back had healed, but the scars were still sensitive to the touch, and stretching them out sometimes even cause them to re-open. My ribs still ached from when both of them were broken, and don't even get me started on the scars that danced there way down my legs. 

The steam from the shower was curling in tendrils all around me, and this whole situation felt very familiar. I can still remember the scent of the school shampoo I was lathering into my hair when I heard their muffled snickers. I remember the sounds of them locking the girls change room, and most of all, I remember every stab with that deadly knife of theirs, and I remember the burning when they carved the word bitch into my chest, and whore, stupid, and die down my legs and arms.. They sneered hateful things at me and left me for dead, alone, naked in a ditch just outside school grounds. It was something that I desperately wished I could forget, but knew I never would. It was etched inside my mind. Before I could stop myself, I was being sucked in to another flashback...  

(FLASHBACK)  

"Do you love me?" Jason asked as he pushed me harder into the side of the school. I whimpered in pain but nodded a yes anyway. 

"Then you need to prove to me that you love me" he mumbled as he played with the hem of my shirt. Most girls would kill to be in my position right now. A grade 10 dating the hottest grade 11 in Makle high history, and now he wanted to hook up? I should be begging him for this. But he's the one who pushed me against the side of school and initiated this whole thing, and it wasn't what I wanted. Call me old fashioned, but I'm waiting for marriage, and the smell of marijuana clung to his clothes and on his breath, it made me want to gag.