It felt like stretching his skin too taught to turn and look at the figure sitting a few yards away in the waiting room. Aiken knew the chairs only held the illusion of comfort, like so many things, but in reality the thin covering disguised unyielding wood. As he walked towards her he tried to subtly avoid her gaze, because he didn't want to be afraid in his last moments with his twin and more than that, he didn't want her to know he feared her. Or at least what he saw when he looked into the depths of her eyes.
"Chanel." He cautiously placed his hands on her knees as he lowered himself to a crouch at her feet. He could feel her stare boring into him but kept his own fixed on the tiled floor beneath them.
"Nel, they're going to fix you. You won't have any more episodes, any more pain. If you do everything they say, if you try to feel better maybe we'll even be able to talk again."
He heaved in a breath at that last part, because once they had been so inseparable that he couldn't imagine a day going by without hearing her voice. But she hadn't spoken since he'd come back from the war, and no one could tell him why. He'd pleaded, begged, reasoned, and by the end even yelled just to try and get through the impenetrable barrier she seemed to have erected around the person he'd known all his life. In her place stood a creature that seemed to transcend her former plane of existence and recoil from the things that had once defined her. Now all he knew were closed doors and helplessness as she bit back silent screams and rocked with pain.
As he was flooded with memories both old and new, the urge to look up overtook him, just to see if maybe he was wrong, and there would be recognition there. He was immediately met with her now colorless eyes mere inches from his face, piercing into his own soul in a way that made him feel like nothing was secret, or sacred. If Nel was in there she was too far away for him to reach, beneath a blanket of darkness.
"I love you, baby sister."
She was two minutes and thirteen seconds his junior and he never let her forget it. Rising, he wrestled with himself for a moment before placing a quick kiss on her forehead and fighting the urge to run out the door. It was the hardest thing he had ever had to do.
