Monogamy

Monogamy. My favourite word. An interesting one, you might think, but in this day and age its value is higher than it ever has been.

You go through life; school, work, wherever it is you meet people, waiting for the topic of sex to arise, an ironic smile already on your lips because you know how people will react to hearing you are a twenty year old- and faithfully waiting till marriage- virgin.

"Wow! I could never do that, but good on you," everyone says. Whether in those exact words or others, the sentiment is the same.

It is as comical as it is sad. The fact that it is such a thing to marvel at. Purposefully maintained virginity. Like it's a challenge only the strongest of people can accomplish, as if they deserve a reward for their patience. Their self-control. To many it is unheard of. What they don't realize is that the prize for waiting is sex. It is intimacy between yourself and another person. Because it was created to be beautiful, intimate and exclusive. Although in a far less astonishing fashion, faithfulness is treated similarly.

Why do we struggle with this issue? Out of fear? Hurt? Self-preservation? Waiting for the next best thing? The idea that it is not something we feel we could ever maintain? Is it a legacy that can never be eradicated? Is it because we are human or because we lack discipline? Because at the end of the day we live to please ourselves above all others?

I believe it is all of the above.

In a world so highly stimulated by pleasures of not only the body, but the mind, where social media portrays the many fights for equality and yet at the same time promotes beauty in what is not attainable or real, and pleasure in what will conquer you, there is no specific target audience. We are all captive to the idea that we may live a life that pleases us because that is what we see and surround ourselves with. Altruism and responsibility are alien.

How many advertisements do you see that encourage selflessness and loving on other people without expectation of reward or the logo of a not-for-profit organization? Are there any? Probably not. Why? Because distributors do not feed off responsibility or altruism. Distributors feed off money and the knowledge that as long as they keep producing we will keep buying because as long as stimulation is available we'll never stop wanting more of it and we'll never stop paying to get it.

Which brings us back to faithfulness. Is it weak or unreasonable to value someone as much as yourself? To put another person before yourself. To truly love, and not just be in love.

Monogamy is like a dying language, almost. It is intimacy that is exclusive between two people, and is becoming such a rarity that it causes people to question not only your steadfast satisfaction with it but their own absence of it. Can a person be happy with one lover for the rest of their life? And more than that, can a person be happy committing to one person before they've had the ability to test the waters of relationship with other people?

Your first boyfriend becoming your 50+ year partner, with no others in between. Never to have intimately known another person in your life. Is that such a frightening idea? Exclusivity. Devotion. Love in one of its truest forms.

For many, the answer is yes. It is. Because it challenges what we perceive, and have been taught. It challenges our selfish nature. It requires us to live, not just for ourselves, but for others, whether it be a god, your family, your partner. In our impressionable adolescent minds, how many of these things are important to us, or do we think about while we are young and being sold a notion that whatever we want can be purchased and whatever we feel is our right. As long as we can work, fight or pay for it it's ours... Right?