finding courtney » rourtney «

» 1: you got away

• no one's pov •

Ross,
I am sorry- no. You should be sorry. You have hurt me, Ross. Physically and emotionally. You have cheated on me multiple times. You've told me you loved me but I know you don't. I'm in love with you, Ross. But you aren't. I'm leaving you, Ross. I want to be with you, but I can't. I can't live with you anymore. I've forgiven you many times. Too many times. You will never find me, Ross. Ever. Just forget about me and I'll forget about you.
Love,
Courtney

Ross couldn't believe what he was reading. She left him. She left him all alone. He felt hurt, betrayed. Why? Because Courtney, his one true love, left him.
"Damn it!", Ross said as crumbled up the letter in his hand and punched the wall. He ignored the pain in his hand and focused on the pain of his heart.
"Why did you do this, Courtney? Why?! I love you. Can't you see?!", Ross yelled at the ceiling, running his hands through his hair.
Then, why'd you cheat on her?, his conscience told him.
Ross looked at the letter in his hands.
Why'd you break her heart, Ross? Why?
"I don't know!", he said, furiously. He didn't know why he did all of that to her. He loves her. He truly does.
"Courtney, I messed up, okay? I'm sorry."
She can't hear you. She's gone.
"I didn't mean to cheat on you..", Ross whispered.
You didn't? You didn't mean to cheat on her four times?
It was his fault, she left. He hurt her. "Courtney, why did you do this to me?!", Ross yelled once more with tears forming in his eyes.
You're sad? This is your fault, Ross. You shouldn't be sad.
He looked at the note once more. "I've forgiven you many times. Too many times.", he reread. He rubbed his eyes. "What did I do?..", he said, softly.
You hurt her.
"I know!", he screamed at the top of his lungs.
Tears were now streaming down his face. He leaned against the wall, breathing heavily.
"I'm sorry", he kept repeating.
Sorry doesn't cut it this time.
He knew it was his fault. It was. She forgave him too many times. Why did he do those things? Why did he those things to her? He loves her, he truly does. But it didn't seem like it.
"I love you.", Ross mumbled.
'Ross, I forgive you', he remembered her saying, 'Ross, of course I love you. Do you?'
"Of course I do.", he said looking at the small pink-colored letter.
By now, Ross was sitting in a corner in his and formally Courtney's small bedroom. His head was thrown back and he was staring at the ceiling. The lights were off. He could hear the raindrops hit the window.
He could hear her beautiful voice.
'Ross, what are you doing?'
'Ross, why did you kiss her?'
'Ross, please stop hurting me.'
He remembered her in tears. It seemed he didn't care. And he remembered he didn't, but deep inside he did.
She got away. He needs her in his life. Without her, he's lost. He needs to find her.
You will never find me, Ross., he remembers reading.
"It doesn't matter, Courtney. I need to find you."

unedited.

comment.

this is a bad beginning. i know. ;-;