He clicks on the light and I can see- ish. The edges of my vision are black and I still can't breathe. My body shakes and shivers and sighs and gasps rack through my body. It's so scary. I think I'm crying, I can feel tears.
"Hey, Tanya, I would have stopped if you didn't want to..." Says Shay, biting his nails, eyes wide in shock.
"Get - (pant gasp sob)- Zoe!" I cry out.
"I me- I mean my- Mum!" I add, with difficulty. He nods then stops. He glances at me.
"What do I say- I was trying to kiss her?"
"Just- go!"
He slams the door and I hear him run down the stairs, thump thump thump. Then I hear a crash! I can't get up, not while I'm having a flipping panic attack! Zoe always says sit it out and let it take over, that's all you can do. It'll knock itself out. I gasp and let out a scream-
"MUM HEEEEEEELP!"
I hear Zoe slam out of the kitchen. I also hear four little cries- Amber, Taylor, Jay and Thomas. The babies.
Zoe's footsteps run up the hall and then she screams.
"Oh my God! Tanya! Where are you!?There's a boy unconscious at the bottom of the stairs!!"
Oh God, Shay! What can I do? Tell her help him, or help me? I'm not sure I can do either- the panic attack is reaching its peak. Zoe has told me before, that it will get really bad for a moment or two and then it will get better. I concentrate on that- let it run its course. Then I know I've hit the peak. My chest squeezes tightly, I cram my fist in my mouth, jam my eyes shut and then I can breathe regularly. My tummy loosens, I open my eyes. That was the worst experience ever- even worse than the past two hours.
I charge out and down the stairs. I'm exhausted! But I have to get to Mum..
"Zoe, I've had a panic attack! They were playing this game where a boy and a girl had to go off and kiss and I didn't want to but Zo made me- I think she's drunk!- and he *I point to Shay* got with me and he tried to kiss me in the dark and I panicked and he came to get you and he was going really fast and he must have fell!" I exclaim. Zoe looks at me in utter pity, pulling me into her arms.
"This party is out of control. I'm calling the ambulance..."
