The Broken Deserter Pandemonium

Welcome to the Pandemonium

"BDP! BDP! BDP!" The crowd screamed as road crew finished setting up our equipment. Our band never really got nervous but we were all very excited. We waited until the last of roadies got off stage and I watched as Jack got behind the drums. The screams of the crowd somehow got louder, something I will never really understand. How does something so loud get louder? I felt someone tap my shoulder, it was Danny. I nodded and we walked onstage. I looked at the crowd and waved. The others had started playing and I tapped my foot to the beat. I'm ready and when the beat drops that's my signal.

"This is for all you motherfuckers who have your Mr. Wentz!

In His memories,

In His memories, we are fighting,

With my gun, and knives,

And his arrows in my eyes."

I could hear the crowd singing with me, they knew the words and they weren't shy about it. That was my favorite kind of crowd, the kind that came to be a part of the band just as much as they did to hear the band.

"In His memories,

In His memories we are cryin',

In His memories,

Him and me.

We're in His memories, in His memories,

Him and me." I smiled. This was what I loved to do with my time. Performing was what I was meant to do. I started to move around the stage, my pastel blue hair going crazy. I walked up to Danny and we headbanged together. I danced to the other side of the stage where Bryi was and we sang together.

"But I'm in so deep,

I'm such a fool for Him,

He's got me wrapped around a finger." I walked back to the mic stand and kept singing my heart out.

"Do I have to forget you?

Do I have to, do I have to forget you?

Oh, I thought the world of Mr. Pete fucking Wentz.

You have no idea how surprised I was when I found out that Pete Wentz was okay with us using his name in our song. I knew that he just recently went through the same thing with Uma Thurman but I never in a million years thought that he would be okay with it. I had always been kind of bitter towards Pete who was always my least favorite member of Fall Out Boy. Everyone always told me that it was because I saw myself in him and that was unattractive to me. I always thought it was because he was a self-obsessed asshole who wrote lyrics that too personal and too self absorbed. But as the years went on I realised that the struggle wasn't a joke for him. HE was going through it just as much as I was and that we were actually very alike.

I thought nothing could go wrong.

But he was a suicidal virgin, but he was America's mess-up.

In His memories, in His memories,

Him and me.

We're in His memories, in His memories,

Him and me."

Once we finished up our set I grabbed the mic from the stand and screamed, "We're the Broken Deserter Pandemonium! L.A. thank you so fucking much and have a good night!" I then left the stage and pulled my band into our post-show group hug. These were my favorite people in the whole world and I was so glad to be making music with them.

We went to our dressing rooms and I put my hair up so that I could wash my face. It was time for the meet and greet and I was so ready. I love meeting the fans and hearing their stories. There was something about being that connected with a person you didn't even know, just because they loved your music. I walked over to Bryi and grabbed her hand, dragging her with me to the m&g lounge. When we got there we waited for a few seconds and then we opened the door. When the fans saw us the screamed a little. I walked up to the closest fan and introduced myself.

"Hi! I'm Theia. It's very nice to meet you. What's your name?"

"H-hi. M-m-my name is Stephanie. I'm so glad that I am getting a chance to meet you. You're my hero. I've been a fan since you put out 'Freaks Of The Night'. It was the first time I bought an album myself and I was so excited."

"Oh wow! That was our second album! God that feels like forever ago. I'm not really sure that I'm hero material but I'm glad that I can be a role-model for you."

"You are. You really are. Can I get a picture? I told myself that I wouldn't freak out and be weird but I've already failed and would love a picture with you if that's okay."

"Totally! I'll get someone to take it for us. Danny! Danny over here! Come here for a minute! Danny hi! This is Stephanie and she wants a picture so will you take it of us?" Danny rolled his eyes. I knew that I was being silly but I was still running on adrenaline from the show. I was so lost in thought that I didn't realise that the picture had been taken and Stephanie was talking to me again. I thought I heard her say thank you but I wasn't sure. I nodded and replied "of course!" and she walked off. I wanted to find Bryi and leave. The effects of the adrenaline were starting to wear off and I needed to go to sleep.

It was another two hours before I was done dealing with fans and back on the bus. Don't get me wrong I love the fans and interacting with them but I am so tired that Mike, our security guard, had to carry me back to the bus.

As I got into bed I looked at my phone and saw that my mom had called me and left a voicemail. I decided to listen to it in the morning and I fell asleep.

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Beep Beep Beep Beep Beep

That was the sound of my alarm clock. As I turned it off I noticed that I had calls from my manager, my mom, my sister Jess, and three texts from my brother David. At first I was worried that somebody had died. Then I realised that they were all congratulating me on something. I checked my email and saw that I had an email saying that I was nominated for Best Vocalist. Oh. My. God. Me? But I wasn't even that good. I checked on Twitter who the other nominees were and I was so amazed that I was considered in the same league with these other singers. Guys like Brendon Urie, Andy Biersack, Kellin Quinn, and Adam Lazzara. Also Female vocalists like Hayley Williams, and Lynn Gunn. I saw that Hayley had tweeted me about it and I replied saying that I was honored and looking forward to her performance at the AP Music Awards.

I then got out of my bunk and went to the bathroom. As I got in the shower I couldn't help but think about how crazy my life was. I never thought that I had what it took to make it in the music industry and sometimes I don't. But the music keeps me going and I wouldn't change it for the world.

In a couple hours I would be doing sound-check. Then about an hour after that our opening band TrenchBoys would perform and then we would go on. I can hear the crowd now. They were all screaming "BDP BDP DBP" and even though I need a break and get tired so easily, that chant keeps me going.