A Wandering Soul

The reason I never committed suicide.

I class myself as an eclectic individual. It explains my eccentricities, my ranging tastes and vision. I am also an open hollow individual whereas the hollow can be filled monotonously with wild and bizzare essences I believe fully viewable by those around me.

I choose not to fully hide my experiences from others in the fear that they may already see them within my hollow and call me out as strange, secretive and manipulative for thinking I could hide the real me. My mind pains me, reassures me and sometimes elates me. However the mind can be very cunning even to the owner.

Even though throughout my life I was abused and became the submissive lamb to the slaughter in my relationships, the fighter in me, the inbuilt stubbornness from my ancestors pushed me to never give up and never backdown.

I was raised to survive which includes a big dose of fight for your life. I was raised to keep going no matter what lay in my path, to jump the hurdles not avoid them, to quash the emotion that bubbled inside me, to complete the race no matter how long it took, and to carry the fallen on my back to bring them home to safety. The fighter in me caused me to live.

C J Wilson Australian Author © 2015