Everything up

Two: Out of Reach

Shaina didn't call or text me at all that night. The next day, she had transformed. Shaina didn't bother to talk to me when we got to he bus stop, and I sat awkwardly all alone on the bus. There were several differences. She wore her hair down today, she always kept it up in a ponytail to try to focus and draw less attention. A glow of confidence shimmered in her. She smiled less, and giggled, and whispered more. Instead of sitting by me, she sat by Alexa. Another thing was her outfit, normally she threw in a sweatshirt and black leggings with some random t-shirt and her ponytail. Today, she had more style, she'd begun to care about her outfit, about what people thought about her outfit. She kept adjusting her hair and... Makeup? She never wore makeup. Weird.

I waved at her and she whispered to Alexa, who laughed. She was talking about me- and I wasn't okay with that. The Shaina I knew wouldn't hurt a fly. The Shaina I knew wasn't here at the moment. Instead, it was a copy of Marci. Like we needed another one of those. 

Naturally, I dove into my book, the giver and read until the bus driver yelled at the middle schoolers to get off the bus.  It was like this all week.  Once Shaina actually came up to me, followed by Marci and her crew. 

"If you ignore it, it'll go away," Shaina said.

"Shaina," I called, and she turned.  "Did I do something?" I was really wondering.  After a long silence, I walked away, catching Shaina's last statement.

"See! It went away! Works like magic," she said, and her whole posse laughed. As I walked down the hall everyone was staring at me.

Don't cry, don't cry, don't cry. But I couldn't hold it back.  Tears drip down my face, in a consistent manner, a salty stream from a sink. This is so embarrassing. Someone grabbed my shoulder. Turning around, I found it was Jason, the very same who had asked out and went on a couple dates with Shaina.  This only makes it worse.

"What do you want!" I snarl.

"Uh, aren't you Shaina's friend?" He said rather awkwardly.

"Not anymore.  She hates me now or something.  I don't even know, she won't talk to me," I frustratedly remark.

"Is she the reason why you're crying?" He seemed as surprised as I was. 

"Sort of, she's part of the reason."

Eventually, after a minute or so of silence- neither of us daring to meet eyes- the minute bell to get to class beeps like a heart monitor.  I jump, as if it were a monitor gone flat, one last beep, one deeply remorseful I'm sorry to the family.

The rest of the day is foggy and soundless.  Shovels dig deep in my mind, but nothing seemed to bury my thoughts of mourning.  A death.  The echoes of funeral bells, and a prayer soon forgotten, aside from one long drawing line.  My mind has dug over my arms reach, and I have trouble getting out.  Thank goodness it's a Friday. 

********************

Wait... When did I get on the bus? I guess school just ended before my mind processed that it did.  Uhg, bus 63 with Shaina and Alexa, I don't need that. 

"Hey.  Do you ride this bus now?" A familiar voice says.

"Oh, crap.  No, I don't ride this bus," I turn to find Jason.  Of course it's Jason. Who else would it be.  Just my ex-best friend's boyfriend in the flesh.