Letting Her Go

Faith To Fall Back On

***Harry's POV***

     Louis wrapped his arms around Eleanor as I rushed to get to Laney. When I reached her room, I felt like the air had been sucked out of my lungs. Laying on the floor was the love of my life. I rushed towards her and fell on my knees. Scared that I would hurt her, I cupped her cheek. It was way too cold to be normal.

     "Laney baby I'm here. Don't worry help is getting here and they are going to take of you. You're going to be fine okay? I just need you to gold on a bit more okay? Laney? For me, okay?" I asked in tears, but she didn't respond.

     I tried not to look at the big spot of blood on her bed. I started to hear the ambulance siren. 'This is all my fault, I thought to myself. If I hadn't let her go, this wouldn't be happening.' I kept thinking.

     After a couple of minutes I heard people coming into the room, I turned towards them and saw that they were the paramedics.

     "Sir we need you to step aside from the victim." One of them said. I just moved a little bit back but I didn't look away from Laney. The paramedics quickly starting working on her. They put her on one of those rolling beds.

     I followed them numbly, "Who's coming with her?" One of them asked. Without a word I just climbed into the ambulance. The other quickly got into the driver side and started driving. The second one kept working on Laney.

     "We are 20 minutes away Jamie." The driver called.

     "Hurry Jackson her vitals are dropping fast." Jamie said. Then Jamie grabbed her walkie-talkie. "This is unit 503, we have a victim. Late teens or early twenties. Vitals are low and dropping. Possible concision and miscarriage, victim is unconscious. We need several bags of bloods transfusions and an ER room." The girl said.

     My eyes widened as she said miscarriage. "Miscarriage?" I asked her, she jumped as she realized that I was there. She looked at me with sorrow.

     "Yes there's a possible miscarriage. That would explain all of her blood loss. I'm sorry." The girl said. My head was spinning, not only was I losing the love of my life. But she had also been pregnant, and she lost it. This was all my fault.

     It's been hours since Laney was brought here. Louis and Eleanor arrived a couple of minutes later. Liam called Louis and asked where we were. That was hours ago. Since then we all been sitting here, but I was going crazy. No one told us anything and I was getting more agitated by the minute.

     Then we heard clear their throat. It was a man probably in late forties; he was in light green scrubs with a lab coat on top. He was holding a clipboard and had a blank look on his face. "Family of Laney Johnson?" Everyone stood up, and the doctor raised an eyebrow. Clearly not amused.

     "I'm her boyfriend and these are all of our friends." I explained. The doctor just nodded.

     "That's fine, but I need to talk you privately Mister?" He asked.

     I swallowed hard, "Styles. Harry Styles." I said as I shook his hand, the doctor nodded again.

     "I'm Doctor Edmund Lawrence. I'm the doctor on your girlfriend's case." He said.

     "How is she?" I asked frantically.

      "For now she's stable but there's something that you need know. Do you think we can talk privately?" He asked.

     I nodded my head, "Of course doctor." I said.

     "Okay follow me." He said.

     He led me into an office.

     "Please take a seat." Dr. Lawrence said, pointing to a chair.

     I slowly nodded and swallowed, I took a seat and stared at the doctor. He grabbed the bridge of his nose and sighed. He looked really tired, but I didn't bother to ask. I wanted to know what was going on with Laney. We stood there in utter silence, and then he spoke.

     "Mr. Styles, your girlfriend came in with a severe case of major depression." He started and I merely nodded, because at the end of the day I knew everything was my fault.

     "We know this because she showed signs of poor malnourishment, and her levels of serotonin, norepinephrine, and dopamine were quite unbalanced. Also, since she didn't know I'm guessing, she lost the baby. We are estimating a 10 to 12 weeks old fetus was the cause of the hemorrhage. Right now she's stable, but we don't know how much damage is there."

     I swallowed the lump that formed in my throat. "Damage?" I croaked out.

     Doctor Lawrence nodded. "Unfortunately, Mr. Styles your girlfriend was under a lot of stress and anxiety which caused this severe case of depression and ultimately the miscarriage. What I'm afraid of, is that she will become severely depressed due to the news of the fetus' death. For now she's being monitored and given Xanax and Paxil to cope with this. It's just a wait and see game for the time being. I'm sorry sir." He finished, and I simply nodded my head numbly. This was all caused because of me.

     Guilt, pain, and sadness tore through my heart. Our baby was dead because of me and my selfishness and stupidity. My own mistake caused both the love of my life and my unborn child severe pain. My baby had to pay the consequences of my own selfish acts. Suddenly I felt like life had been sucked out of me. Oh god, Laney is going to hate me. She's going to wake up and she is going to blame me for our child's death.

     Then I felt like the whole room was closing in on me. "Mr. Styles, are you alright?" Dr. Lawrence asked me worriedly.

     I tried to answer but no words came out, I started to shake violently. The doctor saw and was soon next to my side. "Mr. Styles I need you to take deep breaths for me, okay? Try to calm yourself down." He said.

     Shaking I turned towards him. "Wha...what's...Going...On?" I stuttered out. He looked at me with sympathy.

     "You're having a panic attack sir." He said and then everything went black.