Carry Me Home

Prologue

First of all I’m not goth, I just like the color black. I don’t know where everyone gets the idea that I need to have a variety of colors in my wardrobe. Second of all, I’m not emo, I just like to be in shape. I practice all the moves I know every day for 5 hours. I am always able to make time. So, don’t judge me, you don’t know what I’ve been through, heck, you don’t even know who I am.

I am a heartbroken fool that has never fallen in love. Impossible, you might say, but every day my heart aches to have someone of my own, someone that I know will reject me. The people around me are my friends, yeah. But there’s no one in my life I can really trust. I mean, I guess my mom knows the truth about who I am. Still, I’ve never let anyone in, and I’m not about to start now. No one knows how I truly feel, or what I think, and I can’t seem to find someone worthy of knowing that.

Once upon a time I let my mom in. As a little girl, I told her all my secrets. Now, I’m not so sure, she could be lying. Every time she says something that could even possibly be a slight diversion from the truth, I pounce. I feel like I need to keep her in check. She waited until the last possible moment to tell me I was a witch. She still won’t admit to being a witch herself, even though I’ve seen her cast spells behind my back.

I cried at night, after I found out that I was a witch, my world just fell apart. I couldn’t trust anyone anymore, I could never, ever show my true emotions, and I needed to be prepared to fend off evil on a moments notice. No one told me that I needed to hide my emotions, no, that’s just me and no one ever said that I couldn’t trust anyone. My mom said she would always be there for me, but I’ve stopped believing in her. I hide my emotions because they give too much away. Before I found out about being a witch I took drama lessons, I was really good, and now, hey, guess what? I suppose all that acting is going to go to a good cause….reality.