the inevitability of wrinkled bedsheets

we all sorta die inside, right?

"There comes a time in life where we all sorta die inside. Mine just happened a lot earlier than it should have."

"I don't believe that."

"You don't believe which part?"

"I don't believe that we all die inside. Death is inevitable, but the kind of death you're talking about isn't."

"Oh?"

"Because some people just choose to die."

"I can promise you I didn't choose to die."

"You kind of did, actually. You let yourself die. But instead of letting yourself be reborn, you're just content with rotting in your coffin."

"I don't want to be like this."

"Do you?"

"I--I don't."

"Are you sure? Are you sure that you really are trying to not be dead? I know you're fascinated with death. I know that. You kind of make it obvious. But then again, I know you grew up with Death as your best friend. You were surrounded by death. So of course you'd be fascinated with it. And there's nothing wrong with that. But you have the power to say 'no'. It's not time for you to physically die, so you have every right to climb out of the coffin. You're letting yourself die...emotionally, I guess."

"I want to live--"

"No, you really don't. You like death. You like being sad. You're afraid to live."

"I'm not afraid to live."

"Yes, you are. You've only really lived for just a few moments. And it was exciting, right? But death, to you, has been even more exciting. Are you afraid that living is boring?"

"I...I mean..."

"Are you afraid that living is boring? Because you think that you are only happy and you are only sad. You refuse to acknowledge the in-between. Because you find it boring."

"That's--"

"True."

"You don't know what you're talking about."

"I know what I'm talking about. I know you."

"I don't want to be like this."

"So don't. I understand that some parts of it you can't help. But there are parts you can help. You just gave up on it."

"Life is boring, sometimes."

"No, life is never boring. It's just that you're boring."

"I guess I am."

"Or, actually, it's just that you think you're boring when you're not extremely living or extremely dying. It's okay to just rest. You don't have to sink or swim. You can just float, you know."

"Okay."

"Okay?"

"Okay."

"Okay."