Runnin'

1

I never wanted it to be this way. I loved him. I really did. He was my first love. I trusted him. But over time it just wasn't enough. A year. It wasn't enough. But now I'm pregnant with his baby. Our baby. I don't even have a name for it yet. He would have been so happy to know. But his words. They unintendedly cut deeply into me. I've been haunted and tormented even in my sleep. Dreams of him coming back. Dreams of me being the only thing he's ever wanted. I do not know. I don't know. This baby needs both parents. I'm unfit. I'm only 18.

I'm emotionally unstable, especially without him. I don't know where anybody is. I left. Everybody did. I'm here in Atlanta, lonely and depressed. I'm staying in the cheapest apartment possible. I'm only three weeks far. Truth be told, I need to get enrolled in college. "Come on mommies' baby" I looked down at my pudgy little belly. A tear slipped. "Fucking hormones" I pouted, slipping my shoes on. I was on my way to the corner store for a few things.

I was lowkey kinda hungry, but I had to watch what I eat. My baby ont need no more hot fries. I shake my head. I don't really need a phone. There's no one to call.

I walked home from the store, thinking about everything that has happened. My mom is basically on her deathbed. I think.. My sisters must be worried sick about me, they're the only ones who knew. They were there when I found out I was pregnant. It was too late. Anyways. The wind blew softly, calming me from my heated thoughts. I got some bread and stuff to make me a bomb ass grill cheese sandwich for me and my itty bitty.

When I got into my apartment, I turned on the news. I have nothing to do. One of my bruddas got locked up. My sister's nigga. I shake my head, and get up from the couch. I go into the kitchen and pour a big glass of apple juice. This is what the fuck my life has come to...