Driven by Suicide

0.1 | "Tell me."

Lilian

The cold winter weather didn't help me with the fact I was wearing a cheap, thin gray sweater. I jiggled the keys and opened the front door as quiet as possible, knowing my little brother was napping at this time of day.

Shutting the door closed to keep the warm heat in, I go upstairs on my tiptoes.

Finally and sure no one else was home besides Nathan, the napping little brother of mine, I lock myself in my room. You don't have to hold back anymore, nothing to hide here, right?

That's correct. No more coping with anything. Today I can finally be happy, and that is to be dead.

I don't know why the idea of suicide even hit me before. Maybe I couldn't deal with them, hear the voices in my head, or simply put, live.

Lilian Moore, the girl who hid everything in her past, scared of the present, and didn't care about the future. Because there would be nothing there.

Maybe seventeen years is enough. No more birthdays for my mother to celebrate. Just one more funeral to go to.

Then again, she probably wouldn't worry about me and continue to live the life of the drunk woman at the bar.

What about Nathan?

I pushed that chilling thought out of my head, focusing on what I was about to do again.

The smell of blood; it was only bittersweet, with a thick scent coming from her wrists. I took the small blade from my drawer and reopened the scars I tried so hard to hide.

"I don't feel like living anymore," A mischievous boy mimicked something I had said to herself the other day, in a mocking voice. I didn't bother to turn to my neighbor.

He frowned and pulled himself through her bedroom window.

"Please go away. I don't need you here, Andy." Trying to push him out of my way, he then kissed the fresh cuts and took away the blade. Andy fiddled with his sweatshirt's sleeves.

Andy pulled up the cloth and I didn't speak.

We actually having something in common, don't we?

I wondered why you never told me, the day I moved into this hellish neighborhood four years ago. Andy, why were you cutting for?

Tell me.

I didn't catch that I just said everything. He looks at me, kind of surprised but shakes his head. "Tell you? Never. I could never do that. Yet I knew you were in pain, and I was being a terrible asshole to you, Lilian,

I could never bring the courage to tell you."

Hesitantly, I forced a weak smile. Andy turns and was walking towards the window.

"We could've helped each other," I sputtered.

He gives me a stupid, dumfounded look.

"Just because we're alike doesn't mean we have the same kind of problems."

My neighbor blocks me and all I could see was his back. Andy crawled out, nothing left said. He took the last word every time.