Watt the F%#! Pad
2 Glocks, a Vector, FN SCAR, Vietnam surplus grenades, Kevlar vest and helmet
Ready to raise hell driving in a Ford Econoline
Headed for Toronto with anger rolling out my nostrils and mouth
Like marijuana smoke
Preparing to roll up and blaze Allen Lau and Ivan Yeun
I'm not retiring old and scraggly without my name appearing on the best seller list are you crazy!?
I'm writing this so it can get your hair raising
But if this can get your attention then screw it let there be tension
With a gun to your head while I'm threatening to pull the trigger
Maybe this is the reason why I'm so unpopular on Wattpad
Or unheard of, I'm looking at the What's Hot column
All I see is teenage romance and fan fiction
That shit is just sickening
These girls are now landing on Hollywood runways
With a Starbucks in hand, iPhone on the other
Making big bucks with a screenplay deal
And I'm still here in the cornfields
Trying to get out of this maze looking for a book deal
Now I'm at the border up there with the bacon
You think your police in red uniforms on horses can stop me?
Well too bad I just killed 3 and I ran over Topthorn
That's 3 counts of murder and animal cruelty
Oh shit I hit a bump I look in the side mirror
Looks like I just ran over Drake and the entire cast of Degrassi from the mid 2000's
But hey I'm in Toronto now
Excuse me ma'am do you know the directions to Wattpad's office?
I broke in there with my sights locked on
These fools chilling on a bean bag
Spit the remnants of my mags like a shredder
Blood scattered all over the floor
You by the computer desks where are your bosses?
Oh okay thanks but sorry I can't leave any witnesses
Alright Mr. Lau and Mr. Yeun hands on your hand
Duct taping and pig tying in the back of the van you go
What's that? What do I want?
Hmmm let's see
More reads, more exposure, more opportunities
You're a psycho they only say
That's their opinion but they'll turn around
Once I release Letting Out Varied Emotions
Don't trick me with that
"I'll give you all my money" scheme
Are you those televangelists or
Indians calling on the phone claiming to represent Microsoft or Wells Fargo
Fuck no GTFO with that BS
I'm just gonna spell this thing out like it's nuthin' but a G thang
Going 120 on the freeway
On my way to Lake Ontario
Bodies will naturally stay afloat
But I got these concrete blocks to help out though
I bet you right after I click the publish button
I'll get sudden comments complaining
Criticizing saying I don't know how to use the English language properly
Report me as if I was literally gonna go on a murder rampage
Take a joke like a damn man
Jeez releasing all that energy satisfied me
Thank you for reading.
