Farewell and Regrets

Looking back
To those years I have been with you all
I couldn't help but feel regrets
To those decisions I made
And I'm really sorry

I could still remember those times I have spent with you
The tears I shed
The laughter we shared
And all the challenges and difficulties we surpassed
Has now gone down the drain

I feel guilty of breaking all the bonds we made
But I have no choice, it was my responsibility
And as a responsible person I have to fulfill that duty
Even it means hurting those who are dear to me

And now look what it got me
I became cold, hard and calculating
I dismissed all the offers of friendship others gave me
I became isolated and alone in my own little world

I drowned myself with work
All day and night I did nothing but focus on my career
My mother became worried on how I was faring
But I paid her no mind and told her it was none of her concern
And it was the last talk I had with her
Because she completely disappeared from my life forever
She was involved in an accident which cost her own life
She died by saving the life of a child
My mother saved his life and died in his stead
I was so devastated
I drowned all my sorrows by drinking
I felt that I'm so worthless
The last moment I shared with her and I just brushed her off
I felt so ashamed of myself for acting like that but there's nothing I could do
What's done is done

But four years after that night
My life was hit by a storm
The company I worked so hard to build had fallen apart
Imagining those things I sacrificed for this establishment
My life, my friends, my family turned out to be a complete waste
I became penniless and poor with no one to turn to
Thinking back towards the past
I feel guilty and stupid
All of this happened because of my idiocy
I remembered my friends and loved ones
If I only listened to them
If I only listened to my heart
Things wouldn't have to take turn for worse
I felt like a traitor, for acting like that
For not choosing the decision that would give me happiness
And now I want to give this message to those like me
Who chose fame and riches over their own happiness
If you seek happiness
Just simply follow your heart
Because it will guide you towards the eternal paradise that you seek and you will avoid the regretfull life I faced
So for now I wanted to apologize to those I hurt even though its too late now
I'm really truly sorry
Please forgive me

-Stephanie