S E X / / C A M R E N

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LJ/ /

There has never been a day where Camila hasn't crossed my mind. Well at least i don't remember when someone more beautiful could fill the space of her in my head.

It has been almost a year since we stopped talking, almost a year when she told me the news that she was back together with Austin. Almost a year since I distanced myself from the girl who had no idea how in love i was with her.

After months of analyzing why i was in love with her, i could never find the right answer. It took me almost a fucking year to realize there was no answer to why i was in love with her. Anybody could have fallen in love with her, but not as hard as i did. I was manipulated and lied to. I was addicted to everything she had to offer. Actions speak louder than words, but all she had were words,I was blind, and could only hear.

Someday i would love to be able to ask her if anything she said or promised was real. To sit down with her somewhere distant but public and see her body language when she confessed. I want the truth. I want to know if she really thought about pinning me against a wall and sucking on the pulse of my neck. Or if she actually thought about staring into my eyes while grinding her lower area against mine.

Maybe she would give me an answer and the sexual tension from it would lead to every thought i had built up in the past few years. Or i would feel stupidity being pumped throughout my body, and not the lust i had been craving from her eyes.

I think she is happy now. I always check her social media to see how she's doing, since i don't have enough courage to ask her what's going on. I see her happy with him. Someone who isn't deserving of her love. Someone who didn't deserve a second chance with a once in a life time opportunity to feel every emotion there was. He had all of her. Austin was the only guy to be exposed to every part of her. He's selfish because what he did to her, and what he still continues to do. She'll never know how much she deserves, i wish i would have been able to show her that.

He gets to see her eyes close when she decides to go to sleep & how her chest is rising and falling. He is so lucky to have someone like her.

But in a way, i am luckier that i got to know she existed.

A/n Chapters will get longerand more detailed once i know that there are people out there who want to read this. Have a good day guys ily :)