Radiation with a Side Of Applesauce

The Five Little Piggies.

A mountain of sand crushed, destroyed, levelled to uniformed fairness. "TAKE THAT DIRT-PILE". I am so good at this. Those pre-war squares could hire me as their leader of destroying dirt piles. I could do this all the day, and night and the time between them. A fun job, while being paid with all the fried squirrels I can eat? Count me in! I wonder if sadness existed in the old world.

Dirt sighted! Posterior muscles activated! Your days are numbered, you worthless pile of dirt. Your family will not mourn your corpse. I swear it. Your dirt mother won't even be able to recognise you. As my boot collided with the soft, smooth sand. It wasn't soft or smooth. It was a brown rock. Crap.

This reminds me of a story. The first little piggy went to the market, the second little piggy went home, the third little piggy has all his bones broken because someone smashed this little piggy into a rock thinking that it was a pile of sand. Why rock? Why? Why have you done this? I have not eaten any of your kin. You Sir, are a deep yellow skid mark on the underwear of the rock society. You should be put to death. Hah, death by stoning. It's almost funny enough to make me forget about my um... TOE.
That was short lived...

Time to sit. Elevating my foot, I slowly untied my boot, allowing for a sticky, wet raspberry coloured foot to slide out. That is not very healthy. The big toe had lost it's shell, not exactly lost, I can still see it dangling with a piece of bouncy pink flesh to its side. Again I feel that this isn't very good. Thank god I ate a few sheets of paper related to medicine.

With an accurate incision with my canines, I removed the flesh suspending my toe-nail. On the bright side, I still have my taste buds working. Salty, sour and a little bitter from I think... tar? My thumb and finger strangled my toe, and with a swift tug.. I was in more discomfort. Now with a fist around my toe, a comforting crack acknowledge me of my success. Yay.

My manly squeal was accompanied by a girlish cry. Looking toward the voice, I saw an overturned bus in the distance. Driven by excitement of a new friend, I pushed myself up with my bloodied foot to get used to this new feeling. I wonder if she likes sausages...