Wingspan(Paranormal, Young Adult) MAJOR EDITING**

fifty eight

dinner was dinner.

except without my mother standing at the stove top cooking her famous lasagna. i didn't miss sitting at the well worn table being subjected each night to humoring Jeff with my hopeless and unhappy attitude like i always did.

though i was glad to be out of the house i genuinely craved my moms fresh home cooked meals that weren't carefully balanced out by some certified nutritionist who had absolutely no sense of taste whatsoever.

before i came to stark house having mom bring hot food to the small kitchen table was our form of immediate surrender which stopped us from despising the other at least for however long it took to clean our plates.

i look down at my platter intimidated. Gah! so disgusting.

i was thoroughly convinced the meatloaf was not molded beef rather some form of Bulgar wheat and legume substitute thrown in with a few incidental spices if any.

it was chewy like old homemade paste adhesive with an almost tasteless flavor and stuck like glue to my gums. basically i was eating white mush.

fortunately lunch offered a variety of alternatives much more suitable to my taste buds.

how i missed the good days when i ate whatever was cheapest and deep fried. public schooling offered lunch if you could pay for it in full. the stuff here at stark house was already payed in tuition and i had wondered how the headmistress got away with bringing me in.

by now i understood why Brian was hungry all the time. you know what, I bet The Powers That Were never tasted one bite of said meatloaf.

i pick at the slice of brown something with my plastic fork that came with an added serving of cold mashed potatoes and -yay!- green beans the color of puke.

next to me Brian sucks in his breath. he had loosened his yellow tie and rolled up the sleeves to his collared shirt.

brian smiled widely. "hard cheese. try the veggie wrap next time; it slides down your throat without forcing you to upchuck the nasty bits." brian whispers to me.

it took awhile but i had to admit brian was growing on me. when it came to picking out the least disgusting food brian knew what to avoid and thats precisely why i talked to him.

having the same taste in food was partially the reason we got along so well.

"thanks a lot." i say glumly pushing a forkful of green beans into the mashed potatoes to hide the fact that i was eating vegetables. at this point it was mind over matter. per Doctor Cambridges instructions i had to gain at least ten pounds by the time we next met.

dinner was at five every day on the dot at the same place in the lunch hall and we went to sleep at ten.

i forgo the slab of meatloaf and instead pierce together the flesh of the green beans with my fork which were practically the only edible part of the meal.

though i didn't have any plans i quickly ate the remaining veggies and semi-inhaled the small pile of buterrless mashed potatoes until i couldnt.

brian whistles. "that's one way of doing it, i suppose." he says dryly.

i examine the plate in front of me and decided that i ate enough.

i was ashamed that i managed to scarf every bit down that my stomach could handle quicker than brian could finish his tarot fries. and even though i had an unhealthy rivalry with a boy who had a stomach the size of a dishwasher disposal the win wasn't satisfying.

feeling empty and suddenly in a hurry to leave i lift the tray up and off the table even though it still had the meatloaf and mashed potatoes in it and since i was not determined to finish the entire thing i dump the remaining leftovers in the trash can.

when i got to my room i was more than glad to see no one was inside who could have been interrupted by my sudden arrival.

i feel my way in the darkness and bump into a hard obtuse chest of drawers that was in front of my bed nestled snug against the wall.

after coming in contact with the dresser i massage my hip bone, yelling, and move in the opposite direction where my bed was.

reaching over tentatively and halfheartedly i flip the switch on the lamp that was on top of the small lamp desk in an effort to create more light so that i wouldn't trip over my feet again.

now that i could see better i dump my backpack sack between the dresser and the bed frame and headed over to my dresser.

since i finished studying i had some extra time on my hands and really all i wanted to do was get out of these wet clothes.

the cold weather was severely messing with my anemia and practically the only time i knew what warm felt like was when i took a scorching bath.

i pick out my usual sleep wear, a pair of sweats in a dark color this time and a big cotton sweatshirt two times my size and my best thermal socks that were more for staying indoors than style.

Chanel, of course, was in no disposition of good help these days.

her intentions may have been pure but i was too fragile to point out how difficult it was for me to see my best friend seldom nowadays.

it's not like it was her fault; she was actively pursuing other ghosts like herself. why she felt like she couldn't tell me the what was going on i couldn't understand.

on the plus side i was optimistic that one of her pals on the ghostly plane had information we could use.

i close the door until it clicks and lock it shut.

turning on the bathroom light i glumly walk by the diamond shaped mirror that was firmly anchored over the white traditional sink.

The additional bathroom was all very white and french; two small lamps were screwed on to each side of the vanity mirror, pottery and porcelain underneath the open powder/sink design.

the half bath beadboard added a classic texture to the walls of the room and amplified that traditional feel that i loved.

fed-up and no longer in the mood to look at my reflection i step away from the mirror and quickly slip off my clothes, letting them fall past my bare legs, not caring that they accumulated into a heap of useless garbs next to my feet.

the black onyx key squares formed a traditional offset diagonal pattern on thick linoleum tiles. the floor was cold, so cold, and i was tired. so very, very tired.

discontent and exasperated, i grunt.

kicking them aside, i turn the faucet on and use the tub stopper to form a water-tight seal over the drain to fill the bathtub with water.

instead of waiting for the tub to fill like i usually would have i lowered my exhausted and trembling body inside the freezing porcelain and waited for the water to rise and pour over my legs and stream past my navel.

in just a matter of minutes i was sitting chest deep in a tub full of very hot water that circulated my body temperature, altering my once senseless skin pink as time passed.

with a dreamy sigh of content i sink deeper underneath the vat of steaming water, my head hitting the foot of the bathtub and close my eyes not caring if i fell asleep.....