I Am Weak (Commander Lexa/You)

I Am Weak

Your throat is burning and it stings as you swallow.

The bed of furs is soft and would tickle your skin if it weren't for your bruises. They mottle your skin in varying shades of blue and violet from where you fell and dragged against the ground. The Azgeda had never gotten along with the Trikru always baiting them but you know this was the last straw.

You watch Lexa pace in front of you red sash trailing behind her.

They've gone too far.

You can tell in her clenched jaw. You know with the suspicious sheen in her eyes. Coal still marks her eyes but you still see her. Her mask can only hold so much.

You can only watch it crack and splinter.

She'd lift her head staring into your soul before turning away and this continues for what feels like hours.

You hurt but instead of laying down in the soft fur you watch her move.

Who is she seeing now?

You?

Costia?

This is war.

There's no going back.

You wonder if what she's thinking now.

The tension is so thick in the air you can barely move.

You're tired.

You're hungry but most of all you're scared.

What if they see her crack?

What if the Azgeda attack now?

You feel like there's a weight on your chest. Your throat is so tight. A heavy feeling sits tight in your stomach.

You don't notice your eyes close or your breathing become rapid and shallow.

"Y/N," Lexa says your name so quietly you almost don't her.

Soft calloused hands settle on your cheeks and you feel the warmth in your bones.

"Breathe," she says taking measured breaths voice soft.

You don't know how many times she says it until you open your eyes and can finally breathe.

Lexa is completely focused on you watching you reverently. Her hands tremble on your cheeks until you feel them give way. She settles beside you and the bed moves as she sits. Green almost grey eyes look hazy shimmering in the candlelight.

"Y/N," Lexa says and she's always hit the consonants hard making every sound beautiful.

Now however you know you hurt her.

"I woke and you were not here," She says this almost detached and Lexa looks at the fur. "Your side was barely warm. Your guards were beaten and bruised."

Lexa swallows hard.

"I thought you were gone."

Her voice is almost a whisper.

"Lexa," she interrupts you with barely a movement of her head.

"I thought you were dead."

Lexa stares at you eyes waterng until she blinks and crystal tears fall.

You move hesitantly putting an hand on her cheek.

"I've done many things ,"Lexa says almost inaudible leaning into your hand. "But I can't live with you dead."

She leans in and you finish the distance. Your lips softly glide over hers continually seeking contact. Lexa's hand settles on the nape of your neck touching but no pressure.

The kiss is languid, soft and feels like it's everything.

Both of you pull away reluctantly needing to breathe.

Lexa usually seems so strong. It's hard not to want to protect her now. Her mask leaking, eyes red with tears and face soft. She's so vulnerable now that you know this would've ruined her. Now looking so young and like you, you want to take her in yours and never let go.

That's exactly what you do.

Lexa lets you bring her close. You tug softly on the sash and she follows laying beside you . Lexa sprawls over you head on your shoulder. A palm rests on your heart feeling every beat.

You could almost fall asleep enveloped in the smell of forest and leather.

"Love is weakness," She says from your shoulder and you turn your face seeing her watching you.

You hope she always looks at you like this: green eyes wide and face soft.

"I am weak, " she whispers desperately gazing into your eyes before kissing you again.