Where.

EPILOGUE

If anyone asks, we were totally a thing. I'd like love to confirm that with you; despite your eternal resent every time someone asked back then but I saw you smile the first time round so I'll take that as a sign? Probably not but it's worth a try.

"If YoU ArE rEaDiNg ThIs cLoSe ThIs TaB"

That was the absolute first Facebook IM you'd ever sent me, the first of many. Quite the eyesore now that I think about it but back in the day this was how the 'cool kids'  typed, also noting the fact that this is copy pasted. I'm not saying you're a cool kid, but if the President sent me an IM, I wouldn't care as much as I did for this absolute trash pasting.

Little known fact, I actually did close the tab. But then being the egoistic loser I am,  I could possibly never accept defeat.

"Lol no. Did not. Seen this around so much lolzor didn't even fall for this the first time :P"

I can still feel your eyes rolling the minute you'd read that. I know you did. You told me so.

I went from not being able to remember you name to making you my personal "potato" in a matter of three whole days. I didn't mean to offend you by calling you a potato but you seemed gratified at my comment so I just rolled with it.

I'd like to say I rolled with the ever so constant punches of emotion you threw my way but that wouldn't even come close to explain this huge gash on my, as you would say, kokoro. 

So for the next year, I tagged along to all of your misadventures and gladly took equal share of blame for each outcome. Believe me, all of them were bad. Initially, I'd wanted a consolation prize, at the least but hey, you're the best suffering I ever had. And still have.

You introduced me to your side of the whole 'friend train' the year after I'd met you, I'd expected it to be largely empty with the occasional familiar faces here and there, but to my dismay, it was completely different;

Honestly, I was jealous.

I was jealous that your presence and your time wasn't just mine. That all these words and niceties actually meant something other than general familiarity and overall generosity. 

I wanted to believe what I thought we'd 'had' was more than this kismet of one sided feelings was all just my imagination. That I'd never loved you in the first place and I never will.

For the first time, I was glad I was wrong, so horribly wrong.