Where.

Benign

Two years ago, on this very day...

Well, actually I can't remember what we did two years ago. Honestly, I can't remember what we did six months ago.

Yet, I remember all the stupid details like how my jacket smelt like sweet jasmine after you wore it or how I can't remember to write my name on my text and notebooks without someone telling me. You know, that someone used to be you. The position isn't filled yet so I'm all in if you want to remind me to breathe or something. That would explain why my heart skips a beat when I see you or even hear your voice for that matter.

Remember when we sneaked out to the school unrenovated roof and basically rolled around in the dust  for no reason; sure, we had to quickly evacuate just because my asthma started acting up but I still enjoyed the feeling of my lungs collapsing as your laughter escalated to screaming.

It was at this moment where I realized, I had come to terms with the fact that I was a slain dragon who'd meet his demise at the hands of a Knight in plaid and denim armour. 

Also I still have the shoes you threw at me when I got super depressed while we watched Jimmy Kimmel together. Even though technically they're my shoes, I still haven't worn them ever since. Not because they have sentimental value or anything but mostly because you burnt a literal hole in them with your goddamn 'fake' cigarette lighter and then threatened to burn my hair off if I made that face again. 

What was so fake about that lighter anyway?

And yes, I still value my hair over my life.

We'd often talked about the hairstyles we'd get when we left home and the people we'd become. You always wanted to shave off one side of your hair and just let the other side grow and become this vine like creature that only roamed half of your scalp. You also said that you wanted to become psychologist so you could be paid by rich people to hear out their problems when in reality you were drawing how they would look naked on that fancy note board of yours.  

I'm not waiting for a miracle to happen. I'm not going to say wishy-washy crap like you're the miracle either. All I'm going to do is wait. Wait for you to realise how wrong you were about me; how I wasn't going to be a sitting duck with a stick up his ass.

I swear to all that is sentient in whatever fuckery that is the heavens, I will find you.

Towards the end of that year, the people around you began to notice how much you'd changed. I wasn't surprised. Not one bit. 

The person who you called your own sister had rung me up earlier this year. Of course she didn't want to catch up with me or ask me how I'm doing; she wanted to know where you were Angie. Where on this hell blasted space rock are you? Who do you think you are just up and leaving like it's nobody's business? What the actual fuck do you want from me? Whatever it is, you know as far as the universe stretches, I'll bend over backless for you. Just come back to your goddamn family. Come back to me.

I guess you always did hate that about me. 

You hated that I cared. You hated the fact that no matter how much you didn't give a fuck, I reciprocated it in all the fucks I could give. I cared too much about you to ever let your footing fall loose or let anyone but me worry about you.

That's also why I told your sister that I'd seen you last week at the supermarket with Jared.