please dont read this

introduction

I looked up from the black keyboard. How long had I been on Tumblr?
I checked the digital clock in the corner of the computer screen.
3:18 PM.
Twelve hours? Shit.
I didn't feel tired at all, to tell the truth. Now that I barely sleep, I don't need it.
Cara- or should I say Carmen- chuckled at me from the couch across the room, her perfectly done eyebrows raised.
Shut up, I thought playfully, getting up slowly and watching my feet to make sure I didn't fall. I looked to where Cara was on the red couch, wondering if she was willing to help me.
She was gone.
I limped up to my mirror, passing my white dachshund who was lying down on the big brown leather chair that was next to her crate. Her muzzle was covered in dried blood, and she was whimpering in her sleep.
Stupid thing.
I made it to the mirror and looked at my reflection. I hated my reflection almost as much as I hated my life. My short black hair was incredibly greasy. The septum piercing on my nose was crooked. I fixed it, wincing. My skin- especially my face- was pale. My collarbone jutted out from under my neck. I suppose my special little 'diet' was working. I'd have to weigh myself later today.
"Cara!" I called. Moments later I felt her hands wrap around my waist, and I leaned into her embrace. Her long gray hair was probably spilling over my shoulders. Unless it was in a topknot. But I doubted it.
Hi babe, I listened to her say. I looked into the mirror and sighed when she wasn't there. I'm right here, she reminded me. You may not be able to see me, but-
"I can see you." It was a lie, and I knew it. I lied a lot though, so it didn't really matter at this point. She 'wasn't real.' At least, that's what other people warned me. I closed my eyes, lifting up one of her hands from my body and kissing her perfect skin.
You know I can read your mind. I could feel her smile.
I opened my eyes again, and she had disappeared. I stumbled over from the living room to my room. I put the light on low. My eyes needed a break. My stomach hurt badly, and the whole apartment was starting to spin, but I ignored it and sat down on my bed. Cara's heavy British accent echoed in my head; Ignoring your sickness won't make it go away, Milly. Listen to me. Now.
My posture was bad and my back hurt, but I just watched Cara settle into the large, bright green beanbag chair in front of the small, white bed I was sitting on.
"I love you so much," I told Cara, tears streaming down my dry cheeks.
But she was already gone.