Tears In The Darkness

Two

My heels clicked in a familiar rhythm on the pavement as I walked swiftly to my father's apartment. The building was elegant and enormous and the doorman smiled as he let me in.

"Good morning, Miss Monroe," the front deskman said.

I smiled vaguely. I knew I looked awful, but no matter, everyone knew.

"Hello, Wally," I greeted him faintly and got into the elevator.

My father's floor smelled of paper and cigar smoke. I took off my knit scarf and tossed my things on an open chair.

"Poppa?" I called.

"In here, See."

I heard his gruff voice come from his sitting room. I walked through the apartment. It had been decorated by my mother but since my mother had passed away, it felt empty. The tapestries and oriental rugs felt far away, as if they weren't really ours.

My father's eyes were caught in a book but as soon as he saw me enter the room, his grave and wrinkled face lit up with a smile.

"Come here, Tennessee," he said.

Tears welled up in my eyes. My emotions were out of whack. Again, Ben Sydney's face flashed in my mind. I began to cry again. My shoulders shook with sobs and heartbreak as I walked over to my father's chair. I sat on his lap as if I were a child and sobbed onto his chest as he rubbed my back.

"Oh, Poppa," I murmured.

"I know. I know," he chanted.

"I miss him," I sobbed one last time.

My heels clicked in a familiar rhythm on the pavement as I walked swiftly to my father's apartment. The building was elegant and enormous and the doorman smiled as he let me in.

"Good morning, Miss Monroe," the front deskman said.

I smiled vaguely. I knew I looked awful, but no matter, everyone knew.

"Hello, Wally," I greeted him faintly and got into the elevator.

My father's floor smelled of paper and cigar smoke. I took off my knit scarf and tossed my things on an open chair.

"Poppa?" I called.

"In here, See."

I heard his gruff voice come from his sitting room. I walked through the apartment. It had been decorated by my mother but since my mother had passed away, it felt empty. The tapestries and oriental rugs felt far away, as if they weren't really ours.

My father's eyes were caught in a book but as soon as he saw me enter the room, his grave and wrinkled face lit up with a smile.

"Come here, Tennessee," he said.

Tears welled up in my eyes. My emotions were out of whack. Again, Ben Sydney's face flashed in my mind. I began to cry again. My shoulders shook with sobs and heartbreak as I walked over to my father's chair. I sat on his lap as if I were a child and sobbed onto his chest as he rubbed my back.

"Oh, Poppa," I murmured.

"I know. I know," he chanted.

"I miss him," I sobbed one last time.

Winter

It's freezing, I thought as I walked through the streets.

My heels clicked and clacked as I tried to hurry. My hands moved up to my lips so I could blow hot air on them. I nearly was inside the fashion house when I collided into someone.

"Ah!" I shrieked in surprise and stumbled to the ground.

The form I had so keenly managed to crash against laughed.

"Shit. Sorry," a deep and raspy voice said.

"Watch where you're going," I heaved as I brushed dirt off of my silk dress and knit leggings.

"I usually walk around with my eyes closed. Thanks for your advice, "he said pointedly and offered me a hand to lift me up.

I took it and my breath caught as I got a good look at him. He was so polished. His hair was nicely parted and his face was almost boyish. I glanced at his hand. A tattoo snaked its way onto his wrist and I tried to match it to his elegant stance. He smiled and said, "You can let go now."

He and I glanced at our still clasped hands.

"Oh!" I huffed and let go quickly.

I reddened and walked toward the building that had been my destination. Just as I reached for the polished brass handle, I heard a raspy voice behind me say, "What did you say your name was?"

I turned around.

"I didn't," I said dubiously.

His hands were in his wool coat pockets and I could see a striped button up shirt poking out from underneath his red vest. I eyed him warily. People pushed past me as they walked into the fashion house building I needed to enter. I was already five minutes late for work. He gave me an encouraging smile as if saying, Go ahead. I dare you.

I was about to tell him my ludicrous name when someone beat me to it.

"Oh, hey, Tennessee," my coworker, Luz, said as she pulled the brass handle to get into the building.

I smiled at her.

"Tennessee," the boy mused, "A sad name for a sad girl." His bright brown eyes landed on me and I shivered. He was making fun of me.

I frowned and I felt anger well up inside my chest.

"Don't you mean a pretty name for a pretty girl?" I teased scathingly and turned to walk in the building.

"I don't lie," he called.

I glanced back and gave him a glare, "Well, neither do I," I stated.

Believe me, I was lying.

Flashbacks:

♠ ♠ ♠

"My fingertips are holding onto the cracks in our foundation. I know that I should let go, but I can't."

-Kate Nash