"I hate the beach but I stand in California with my toes in the sand."
Putlling the sleeves of the over sized sweater closer to my hand. Trying to hide the shameful monster that is me. Closing my eyes I feel the merciless wind hit my face. Scattering the broken pieces of my heart further than can ever be reached, breathing in the mixture of oxygen, salt, and iodine. I feel water splatter against my face and instinctively open my eyes.
I gaze at the beach, the beach that I spent most of my life despising. The waves behold so much violence and hate towards a world they haven't experienced.
"Why am I here?"I scream, knowing the answer.
It's all because of us.
We both started a war against ourselves.
Thinking we could fight off anything.
Thinking we are stronger than the people before us, the people who tried and miserably failed.
Well we thought wrong.
. . .
It all started the day I caught a glimpse of those hazel eyes, the were those kind of eyes that reeled you in, they were the kind of eyes that held you captive, they were so mysterious yet so beautiful, And the owner of these eyes, the owner that I could contemplate for hours and not get bored.
Hayden.
The best and worst year of my life.
The most beautiful yet deadly person you could ever meet.
He had the most beautiful smile you could ever want to see.
He had short, thick brown hair, I can still remember how it felt to run my hands through it.
He was tall and muscular.
He was a lot of things.
He was walking through the school dressed in a pair of jeans, a converse , and a button-up shirt, looking like he just came out of a magazine cover or tumblr.
On the other hand I was dressed in black skinny jeans along with an XO pullover.
But who cares - I secretly do - it's a free country.
"Hey!" An unfamiliar voice calls making me snap out of it.
"Yes?" I say, unsure if the majestic voice's talking to me.
I turn around to see the boy I was starring at just a couple seconds ago. Wasn't he just over there, how did he come over here.
"Do you mind if I ask where did you get this sweater from?" He asks with a perfect smile plastered on his face.
"I..I..I got it off the int...tternet."I stutter making him chuckle.
"w..e.llllllll it loo..ooks good on you." He fake stutters, which makes a small smile appear on my face.
"Hahahaha, you're so funny." I say my voice dripping with sarcasm
"I know." He says as his smile widens "So what's your name?"
"Skylar."
"Skylar." I watch how his mouth curves as he says my name, since when has my name become so beautiful. "Hayden, that's my name."
"I like it." I say.
"Thank you, I got it for my birthday." He says with the same charming yet mysterious smile.
I lightly smack his arm, receiving a chuckle from him.
"I'll text you we can go out sometime." He says grabbing my hand without any permission and writing his number on it.
"Douche-bag."I say under my breath.
"It's a talent, you know." He says indicating that he heard what I said, making me blush.
"So talented." I say sticking out my tongue like a five year old.
I turn around and start walking towards my next class hoping that advanced math would distract me from the boy I just met.
...
Taking off my shoes, I throw them at the nefarious water. I Dig my toes in the sand while cringing at the disgusting feeling.
I wonder why am I spending the last hours of my life at the place I hate the most. Was it because he loved the beach so much? Why am I torturing myself with one of his greatest joys.
I remember our first date was on the same beach. I remember how much I hated it. But then he made it all go away when he held my hand and carried my while running on the shore. It was a beautiful day, just a bad location.
. . .
'How long have we been together?" He asks.
"Four months, why do you ask?"I answer.
"Good, we should so get Mcdonald's after you finish you're classes." He says with a smile, then continues "Oh! and before I forget, I love you." Then he started running towards nowhere.
Did he just tell me I love you for the first time. For most girls that would be the mos unromantic way to tell a girl that you love her but to me that was the most perfect way ever and can't believe it.
Standing in the middle of the California State Universities empty halls, my heart melts as if it was made of ice.
. . .
I take my first step towards the storm created by the water. The first couple inches of my black jeans get soaked by the sea's salted water. The nostalgic feeling brings back memories I can't bear to remember. Are these really the memories, the last memories all ever have?
These are my last breaths and I can't think of a worse place to spend them.
There is no going back from this decision. The terrible tough of dying in the water, at that same beach, the same beach where my life changed. I it weren't for that body of water I would've been in another place.
Maybe I would've been doing something else, like holding my boyfriends hand or eating ice cream with my best while watching Netflix.
But that could never happen because I made a choice, I choose to go out with him. There is no use regretting anything right now. The choice has been made and now I have to pay for the it.
It's only fair that way.
. . .
I walk into our apartment and it's unusually quiet. I can't hear the sound of my better half, where is Hayden. I just saw his car in the garage.
"Hayden."I say, getting an answer the silence.
"Maybe he was tired and he simply fell asleep. Yeah, that's a good explanation. Right sky?" I tell myself in a low voice.
A million possibilities running through my head as search the apartment...avoiding the bed room at all costs.
After an hour of searching every corner of the house ~except for the bedroom~ I decide to finally open the door to the room, the room I spent most of the good times in my life in.
Opening the door, I see the horrifying scene and I freeze in place. I try to scream but no sound comes out of my mouth, just a stream of tears coming out of my eyes.
Hayden, was sitting next to a bloody and broken mirror, with slit wrists. He looked like the most haunting masterpiece ever made. Finally my body cooperates and moves towards the dead body of the man I couldn't help but love.
I dropped to my knees and took his lifeless body inside my open arms and started crying harder.
. . .
I start walking more and more inside the water. My time has come...
. . .
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