Dear Skylar,
Summer 2008.
That's when you came into my life.
You were different.
You made me feel things I never felt before.
Feeling butterflies? I felt the whole zoo when I was with you.
15th September 2008.
They said write about it. It will ease the pain.
It doesn't. But it feels as if someone is there, listening. It helps.. A bit.
I knew you. But you didn't know me. You were the popular senior, I was the unknown junior. Why you talk to me that rainy Wednesday? I may never know. I don't have the most beautiful of looks. My insecurities could eat me alive. I am not skinny, I am not pretty. I have pretty skin, you told me that one night. It all started 31st of May.
School was finishing, as were the relationships. So were you and Jenna Mason's relationship. A total of four months. Considering she was a complete slut, it seemed a lot to her. My friends had been talking to you, as Jenna hadn't been giving you all the love you desired. You sought it from other lost souls. Me included. But the difference between me and you was, we supplied the love we needed.
You had the most stunning looks I could ever imagine. It seemed as if, when I started in those blue sky eyes, you were staring deep into my soul. Sounds cliche, but it was true. You had cute ash brown hair which would become messy when you fell asleep. We spent many of those nights in summer with each other. It was all we had.
As I was saying, you started of talking to my friends. My best friend at the time, Lucy, had gotten your number at some random party you and her happened to attend. You played her. We all know you did. She sat for hours talking about you over and over again. Repeating herself many times. I understood, she had been left heartbroken, where as you moved on to another girl in our grade. You were one of 'them' guys who I had been warned about by many girls. I don't know how I fell for it, but I did.
One night whilst Lucy had finished crying about how her heart felt as if it was splitting in two, I decided to see who had left her like this, and why they had done it. Lucy was superficial at times, but amused me. We had been friends since fourth grade, and carried on the friendship. She could be a complete bitch when she felt like it, but most times she was.. okay.
"Lucy?"
"What?" Lucy snivelled, wiping her tear soddened eyes.
"Give me your phone. Now." I basically demanded.
"Why?" She looked confused, but she knew why I was asking.
"Give me Skylar's number now." I declared, I was going to tear you apart. I had been planning it for the past hour, while she was crying. I wasn't listening. Just thinking of insults to call you. You were smart, but I was smarter.
"What are you going to say?" She looked happier already. She knew I was going to eat you alive. Lucy was a push over, easily annoyed. Whereas, I am certainly not. You had to prepare yourself before hand if you were to make me angry.
"A lot. Now give me it." I chuckled. This was going to be fun. For the last couple of weeks, I've watched Lucy been played. It was quite fancinating, watching her leave me and then be left. It was a very interesting observation about how people can change, for one person they've known less than three weeks. Very interesting.
I unlocked my phone, and type your number into my keypad. I was fully prepared.
'Are you the asshole who has broke my Lucy's heart?' I typed. I smirked and hit sent. A couple of seconds I recieved a notification. You had already replied.
'Depends which Lucy. There's been a lot ;-)' You sent back. That started our endless texts about irrelevant subjects, like how eleven isn't called onety one.
Looking back, I realised how inlove with you I actually was.
But you? I will never know.
After them first messages, we began to talk, but we'd only smile and maybe even wave at each other if we saw each other in corridors. It came to the point, where if you didn't reply in about two minutes, I'd think you were dead. Attached? I think so.
I have always warned myself not to get attached. If you get attached they will leave. Having my mother as my only parent I had trained myself not to love. Love is so.. Overrated. People say you have soul mates? Bullshit. My mother thought she did, but she didn't.
While I'm on the topic of my family, I'll tell you about them.
I was born in 1993. I'm fifteen. My dad left when I was nine. I haven't seen him since. My mother has been betrayed, abused and left so many times. She trusts to easily, whereas I'm the complete opposite. When my mother and dad were a couple, they were your typical inlove couple. The cliche type of love. They met in Paris, 'the city of love.' Within months I was concieved. You knew all of this, however. I would talk to you on my days when I felt like nothing mattered. That's why I was so inlove with you. You listened. Back on topic, my dad had an addictive personality. After my mother got pregnant, he started drinking. A lot. Once I was born, he drunk and gambled. My parents were unemployed, but with the little money we had in savings, my dad gambled. Not just money, our house and car too. When we lost our house, he blamed my mother. I was so young but I still have night terrors and flashbacks about those rough, never ending arguments. They affected me so much while I was growing up. At parents days, they were never there. My teachers thought my parents were always sick, and wouldn't ask.
I wish they did.
When I was around two, my dad would start hitting my mother. Even today, I see the scars on her legs. "Cat scratches!" She would explain, followed by a fake laugh. I was so confused, we didn't even own a cat. I remember one time, when I was around six, I came in my house from school to see my mother lying on the floor her hands over her eyes, sobbing. My dad stood above her, belt in hand. He turned around and tried to hug me to welcome me from school. I screamed and ran to my room and barricaded it with my play house. I never, ever want to see my mother in that state ever again.
My dad finally left, three years later, when he got into a relationship with another women. Within two months of meeting her, he was gone. We didn't miss him though. If anything we were glad. I always needed that father figure in my life though, and always had it. Or at least, versions of it. A couple of months after, my mother met 'Uncle Paul.' Uncle Paul changed me. He would never hit me, but say things. He once tried to convince my mother to leave me, and go with him to Florida. She refused, and he left. I had lots of uncles after that. But none of them ever worked out. I don't think my mother has a soul mate. I didn't either until I met you.
I love you.
Yours sincerely,
'Your girl.'
