I Hate It Here.

Untitled Part 1

I honestly feel like I am dying.

I cannot breath, I am choking on silent sobs. My eyes burn from the makeup seeping in and my own tears burn on my face as they try to wash me away. My body is rejecting me, terminating me, pushing out the unnatural thing that is me. Goosebumps cover my arms and legs, icy spikes invading my skin.

A face contorted in pain and confusion, hatred and defeat; bloody cracked lips, swollen red eyes, bags of purple, sleepless nights, all streaked with black because dammit I tried to feel pretty again. Fetal position, wrapped up with ribbons of razor blade words and topped wit a bloody red bow that screams jump! A gift for the family I burdened, just what they wanted this year.

I am not angst-y, I am hurt.

I am not dramatic, I hear what they whisper.

I do not want attention, I want out.

Nobody will listen. but I know this isn't okay. I know what verbal abuse is. I have never been smacked, never kicked, but being told you are worthless- being treated the way I am, that does more damage than any black eye.