What a Wonderful World ( A Yugioh Fanfic)

Chapter Twenty-Six: Returning Home

I see trees of green, red roses too

I see them bloom, for me and you

And I think to myself, what a wonderful world

The slow, gentle jazz tune drifted out from the horizontal slits on the dashboard. The music twirled around inside the car, bouncing against the closed, clean windows. After hitting the impenetrable pane of glass, the soft, almost lullaby streamed around in the air, falling invisibly to give warmth to the space between the squashy cushions and the creaks of the bolts, welts and nuts holding this automobile together. Did it mix with the carbon monoxide or did Louis Armstrong's sweet lyrics keep themselves separate from the poisonous gas; I did not know. I could see neither, only feel it in the depths of every one of my organs.

I burned the CD from a random acquaintance I had met in my travels. The entirety of it only contained a single song, the song that played at this very moment. In this sitting, I probably heard it about ten times. Though this may sound idiotic, I had to make sure this, this song, this song was the last thing I heard.

I may have listened to this melody too many times. Instead of hearing the great Armstrong singing, I could only hear my dark, my lovely dark's voice playing out each syllable. His almost monotone voice, so different from mine, rang in my ears, which resulted in the tearing of my heart. On several words, the voice would change pitch perfectly on all the right words to bring the song even closer to my soul.

Currently, I sit in my car or rather, Ya-Yam- his car. Hmm, after ten years, I still can't say his name. Still, I am now here in his car, in the garage I rent from a neighbor, with all the windows rolled up as tightly as I could. There is a plug in the exhaust pipe, trapping the carbon monoxide I was concerned with earlier inside the vehicle. Scratching once on his tan skin, I sank deeper into the driver's seat. Hmm, after ten years, I still often consider this body his.

I see skies of blue, and clouds of white

The bright blessed day, the dark sacred night

And I think to myself, what a wonderful world

Today is the decennial of his death. Along with his life, my own was taken. I chose today for the simple reason that I have decided I can no longer take it. Any of it.

I cannot remember the exact happenings of the day I decided to end my life, but 'failed', if you can even call it that. But I am sure that Ryou had called the ambulance; I heard his meek voice in the kitchen. And I do remember hearing the sirens, yelling and footsteps, and ignoring all the noise. And I can still feel the strong hands of some emergency worker pulling me from Bakura, taking me out as they brought in a stretcher and a black body bag.

No one could truly believe what happened when I directly told them. None took it as a joke, but as a nightmare. Ah, a nightmare. I still find it so silly and so childish to resort to blaming any idea of such devastation on our malicious subconscious.

But the second they were dropped to the realization that I, whoever I was then and am now, was not my dark, there was an almost amazing difference in reaction. For about a month, most of my friends would not look into my crimson eyes. They could talk to me in only whispers and could walk only on the tips of their toes if I was in sight. The only exceptions were, obviously, Seto and Bakura. They treated me as they did the Pharaoh when I was in a coma. Or at least, they tried. I would not let anyone within a yard of myself.

Even at the funeral of my adopted father, in his hometown somewhere in Japan, travel expenses covered by Seto, I didn't let anyone comfort me in anyway. The same was true at 'Yugi Mouto's' Scattering of the Ashes in Egypt, close to where Bakura said the Pharaoh's real tomb was. We needed to use my old name simply because anyone other than someone from, or close to the gang, who knew about the yami's secret, would not understand and would get curious. We, or rather I, had my original promise ring grinded into fine, silver dust, mixing it into the ashes.