The life of Meh.

Chapter Six

I am a disgusting pathetic excuse for a human being. There is litterally no point in even being alive.
...

I had i sleepover with my besties Tate and Maddie on Halloween and it was a lot of fun but on Tates dresser was a picture of her and maddie at maddies birthday party. We went to a church service the next morning and we had to write a problem we face that we have never told anyone and what i wrote was. "I am constantly being left out by my closest friends. " When i got home sunday night i realized how well that sentence fit my life. I have been friends with Maddie for four years and i was never invited to a single birthday party. Friends with Tate for three and haven't been to any of hers either. I have been friends with another one of my friends Serenity for two years and wasn't invited to hers as well. Which is hard to belive because i have invited them to every one of mine except last year because i am too poor to aford it, while my friends are off in thier nice houses with their maids and cool things i will probably never have in my life. On top of that Serenity was my only and best friend while Maddie was ignoring me for three months and in seventh grade she was friends with Darby and any time they were together they would completely ignore me which ruined that year and now this year eighth grade Serenity literally confronted me telling me that she would rather be best friends with her new friends Brooke and Emma than me.

It's really hard for me to belive that as much as i cared for my friends they didn't care enough about me to invite me to even one of their many birthdays.

I am pretty sure this is the cause of around 50% of girl suicides. Girls feeling uncared for and unneeded. But no worries i won't end my life because only my dog and parents love me. Most ofvthe time.

I know tate and maddie love me but it doesnt feel like it when you think that your friend will talk to both of you and then they turn their head and only talk to the other person leaving you just sitting there thinking "gee i feel loved."