Dear Rose Graven

[1]

Dear Rose Graven,

         It's me, Cameron Fields. Or as you said it, Camera Falls. Do you remember me? Do you remember how I look, feel, talk, and make you feel safe. I remember you.

Remember. That's a powerful word. It can change everything. I don't want you to remember me, I want you to know me. If you remember me, you just do so. Nothing happens at all. You just sit there, starring at emptiness. If you know me, then I know you care. You know my faults, dreams, and past. I want you to know me Rose Ally Graven,  but you can't.

You can't because you're dead rose. Dead. You left me, never to return. All I have left are memories. Do you know what happens to memories? They disappear. I won't remember  you talk, how you smell, how you cry, and how you laugh. It'll all just go away, never to return. I don't want that, but I'm stuck with it.

I am writing these letters in our house. A week before you left, we started to rent it. We called up our families to help us put in the furniture and paint. You looked so beautiful with paint smeared on your face. I said, "Rose, I don't know how it's possible, but I think I love you ten times more." You blushed and replied with, "Only ten? Why don't twenty, or hundred?" I stopped you with a kiss.

Rose, when I said I loved you ten times more.... It was true. Now I don't love you ten times more at all. I love you infinity times more. You won't even know.

You're dead Rose, you are .

You.

Are.

Fucking.

Dead.

I just can't get that through my mind, can I? Why am I even writing these letters of you can't even read them? This is pointless, Rose. But yet, I'm still here. Do you know why?

I can't move on Rose. I want to, I really do. If you here right now you would say, "Stop hanging on to the past Camera. You have to go on with your life. While you do that, go grab me some popcorn. I'm hungry."

It's almost as if we're hanging by a thread. You left to heaven, but one single string is still connected to me. I want that to be true. Maybe I can grab some magic duct tape and fix the string. Like you said, duct tape fixes everything. I hope it can fix my heart.

You're family already moved on Rose. Now that they are done mourning you, they're starting to worry about me. Ever since you died, I've been in our room. Sometimes your brother or sister will slip some food under the door. All I do is write these letters and sleep.

I sleep on your side of the bed. Your pillow smells like you. It makes me very calm. It's starting to loose the scent though. Im wondering what shampoo you use, but I can't ask you because you're not here.

I'm your Camera Falls, Rose. I might seem tough and strong on the outside, but on the inside I'm hopeless. I'm broken in a thousand pieces, my mind is spinning, and I just can't stand it. The only thing that can heal me is you Rose. You are my medicine. You lift me up when I'm about to fall.

Do you know that one Greek legend? There was this King named Tantalus. He was a son of Zeus. He was so full of hubris, he thought he could actually fool the gods. He had a sneaky plan one time. His father invited him to go up to mount Olympus and eat with the gods. There, he would steal the food of the gods and give it to his friends on earth. But instead, something else happened. Tantalus invited the gods to his house. There, he cut up his own son and cooked him. Now that was pretty sick, but this next part was even worse. He fed his own son to the gods. Some of them knew and didn't eat it, but some did. Zeus got angry and killed Tantalus himself. When he died he spent his whole afterlife in the underworld. Although he was dead, he couldn't eat or drink. He was forever waist deep in water. If he went down to drink it, the water sank. A tree stood over him full of fresh, juicy, fruit. If he reached up to grab it, the tree branches would move up.

This is what I'm like Rose. It's like you're right there, but I can't reach you. I need to move on but I can't. Moving on just..... It just gets out of reach.

Not even duct tape can fix me Rose.

                    Love,
          Cameron Fields
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Wow, first chapter done! Should I continue with this story. Please comment if I should. I am REALLY bad  at spelling... So grab a sword and destroy those typos! XD vote, comment, and gimme feedback.

~ •M A R G O•