.my heart

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2 years went smoothly.
I wanted you, you wanted me.
Sent me to sleep every night thinking.
Thinking about what we could be.
I like you and me...only you and me.
I made huge mistake.
I never should have showed you.
I never should have let you talk to her.
I should've kept you to myself.
I gave him parts of my soul that I can never ever get back.
Fragile these parts were.
You have never seen them.
Nobody but him.
Only him.
Now they're gone..with only him.
I gave you my temple.
Sacred yet I shared.
But I shouldn't have because now I trip over you.
My best friend doesn't even see.
That when she talks to you, it hurts me.
I tried my best to persue you.
I wanted you to be mine, I wanted to be yours.
I was ready and willing to give you my forever and always.
I should have never introduced you two.
I feel like she rubs the fact that every guy that looks at her wants her.
Including the boy I want to be mine.
He will never understand.
All the this I had to offer him.
I'm smart, but not pretty.
Is that it?
After I gave myself to you, you vanished.
Never rang me up.
Stopped talking to me.
Do I need to starve myself?
Is it because I'm not skinny like her?
If so I can change that.
You've ruined me forever.
I will never be the same as long as you have what you have of me.
If there was a way to erase you from my mind and memory, I would pay whatever price needed.
Death? Paid
Money? Paid.
I don't care about myself anymore.
I want you, you WANTED me.
Now you want my best friend.
I'm worthless now. You made me this way.
And so did she.
When I see you, I feel broken and naked.
You've seen me.
All of me.
I offered because its what you wanted. I wanted to make you happy.
Did I not?
Why do I question myself? I shouldn't.
It was never me.
Its you.
Player, fuckboy. You have parts of me
I want them back. I demand them back.
But you will never give them.
You can't.
For some reason, I hope your life is a bitch to you for the rest of your being.
I hate you.
I will get what's my mine.
And for some reason, I hope you break her heart too.
Just so I can say "I told you so."
I told you so.
Doesn't she see my pain?
I thought she could.
You're my best friend right?
It doesn't really seem like it.
A little part of me( and I mean extremely little almost like its not there) hates you.......

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