Embracing the Darkness

Chapter 5

"If you'd have met me first, would you have loved me a little bit more?"—Sasuke Uchiha, Definitely a Sadist by @Naburi

Embracing the Darkness

Yesterday is strange.  Like how Nara Shikamaru interested me and the fact that when I come back to the apartment given to my team and me by the Hokage, Tayuya greeted me back, seemingly perfectly fine like how it was before.

I dare not question her, afraid I'll just return us back to when she was upset with me.  That's why I remain silent then.

Some part of me feels relieved, but another part of me also feels saddened.  Somehow, I can't seem to shake off the feeling of utter failure behind my back—failure as her teammate, failure as her comrade, and most of all failure as her friend.

And even now that feeling keeps coming back to me whenever she's there, as if reminding me.

"You don't look so good, Yūki-sama."  Toujou creeps to my side, staring at me unsurely.  He rests his hand over my shoulder.  "Is it about Tayuya?"

My head casts down.

Right now, we stand before the great fence of Area 44.  It's been a while since Anko has brought us here and introduced this place to be the second phase of the Chūnin Exams.

I can smell the stench of blood even from far away, coming from the forest.  Death soaks on all over the place.

"Whatever it is, I know you two will work it out," Toujou muses.  "I mean, you always do in the end, anyways.  What difference is today?"

"Shhh!" I suddenly hush and smile when I feel Tayuya approaching us.

"What are you two talking about?" she asks.

Toujou's suddenly grinning, about to open his mouth to say something when I suddenly hit him with my elbow.  I force a laugh when Tayuya looks at me, but it dies to a cough when she doesn't seem convinced.

"Ehem, um, we were just talking about the forest.  Right, Toujou-san?"  I turn to Toujou for more support.

"Oh, um, yeah."  He sends her a grin when earns him another elbow from me.

"Yes."  I cough.  "Well, have you taken the scoll?"

Tayuya nods before she hands it to me.  "An Earth Scroll."

I grip the scroll in my hand then, thoughtful about it for a moment.

"Yūki-sama...?"

I shake my head and put away the scroll then to my back pocket.  I put a smile then.  "Can you do me a favor, Tayuya-san?"

She seems reluctant for a moment, unsure how to react, but she nods nonetheless.  "What is it, Yūki-sama?"

"Call me without honorifics?  Just Yūki, Tayuya-san.  Call me Yūki," I murmur.

"But, Yūki-sama..."  She seems reluctant as I thought she'd be.  "Master will—"

"We're not in the hideout, Tayuya."  I suddenly hold her hands as I raise my eyes to hers even if they're not seeing.  But I let her feel as if I'm looking at her, make her feel assured.

In her pulse, I read something else.  Like me, she hides something else too.  I pretend I don't notice just as I pull away, sporting a smile.

I know then... I know then that Father is here.

"Okay..."  She sighs reluctantly.

"That's great."  I smile at her.  "Hold on, okay?  I need to go somewhere for a while."

Tayuya seems surprised by what I suddenly said, and she looks confusedly.  "Where are you going, Y-Yūki?"

I smile at her effort, and it's enough to hide away the sadness in my expression.  "Just somewhere.  I just need to be alone for a while."

She doesn't respond back further at this point and only watches me leave them.  And that's when I release it, the expression I try to hide, the sigh I've been holding back.  I even feel myself slightly slouch, but I straighten myself.

I know that Father has never really sent me here to watch over his vessel, and it's only me to be kept this information away from.  Tayuya knows, and probably even Toujou.

I realize now that it's only to keep me from noticing why Father will constantly be gone without me, and he's only using Sasuke as a decoy to keep my attention away for a while.  With this, even if he's closeby, it also keeps me from finding out.

"You again," I hear a familiar voice and I snap up.

It takes me a moment of silence before I respond back to her and regain my senses.

"Are you alright?" I ask her, noticing the discomfort in her stature.  Her body seems stiff as she unconsciously massages her shoulder.  Her hood is lower than usual from her head.

"Why are you asking me that?" she mumbles.

"It's just that... you don't seem fine."  I rub the back of my neck.

"I'm fine...  I just... didn't get a nice sleep last night."  She sighs begrudgingly.  "Rather, it's you who needs to be asked such question.  Are you alright?"

"It's nothing," I mumble, shaking my head just before I sit down across from her.  I feel light all of a sudden at her presence.  Although her concern is empty and naught but as an as if obligatory question, it helps a little.

And I am reminded then, that this is the girl I swore I'll protect.

I close my eyes then, because that way I see.  Through only imagination, perhaps, but it keeps me warmer and calmer.  Imagines are much more detailed.  Images are more beautiful than just pure black.

And perhaps it's the same for her, for her partially blind eyes.

"It soothes my mind of worries," I absently mumble.  I don't meant to say it out loud, but somehow I feel expectant to her response.

"What does?" she whispers.

"When the wind carries the scent of roses," I tell her, and for a moment, I feel her ridigness.  Her body goes still, and suddenly all of her attention drops to me, oblivious that we both struggle for sight.

"What?" she asks almost a whisper.  She rises from her seat and draws back.  I can feel her frown now as she distance herself away from me.  I feel her sudden anger.

I open my mouth to explain, but Toujou sudden appears from behind me.  He seems to have stared at her for a while before he looks at me.

"Yūki-sama, we need to go," he murmurs.  "The other teams have already taken position.  Anko-san is about to announce the beginning of the exams."

That's when she turns away then, and walks off.

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