Found and Fostered

Prologue

At a young age, I learned that you can't rely on anyone but yourself. If you were to rely on anyone other than yourself, you're setting yourself up for disappointment. This is actually why, in my sixteen years on this Earth, I've made three friends total.

As a child put up for adoption with a heart condition. You get use to people looking at you with pity because you're a four year old child with no family sitting next you your hospital bed in the ICU. After all the surgeries I needed to repair the hole in my heart. I was five. Most people, they want a baby. Not a child half way through primary school.

When you grow up without parents, you end up with all kinds of questions like: Where are my parents? Why are they not around? Why wasn't I good enough? You voice these questions once or twice, but after a while you understand not to because you either got slapped, put in a room and forced to skip a meal, or called down to the point you're crying into the pillow, in your bedroom that you share with three other kids.

After eight different foster homes you realize no one wants you, and you know why. It's because of every false report put in about you. Your medical history. The length of your rap sheet, and simply because you're a teenager.

I've been in and out of foster homes since I was a baby. Eight foster families, including the one I'm currently in. Five different stays at the group home for girls. Plus two, three month stays in Juvy. I'm honestly not sure why I even put up with the bullshit foster parents, the bullshit foster siblings, and the bullshit social workers. Most foster parents are poor excuses for parents. I need to be on my own. Not dealing with foster parents that only want me for the money.

Growing up in the system, being raised by 'family' that don't really like you. You always hear "you're never going to amount to anything", that "you're not smart enough". Eventually, after hearing this from numerous people. You start to believe it, leaving you striving for what people except of you. Not what you know you can do.

Only thing I like about being in the foster care system is no one worries about where you're at as long as you're around for the monthly counseling sessions with your social worker. You are to stay out of trouble. You are to go where you want, when you want. No one tells you otherwise because no one actually cares.