The Merc In The Multiverse

Deadpool One Shot

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Hey guys, this is my first attempt at fanfic. Thought starting out with a one shot would be the way to go. Please let me know what you think!

Any feedback is welcome!

Thanks for reading. Xoxo.

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It was a typical Wednesday evening, quite uneventful but you were okay with that because the latest issue of Deadpool had come out that day and you'd just got back from the comic store.

You were curled up on the second hand couch in your tiny New York City apartment with the comic open on your lap and a steaming mug of hot cocoa in your hand.

Yeah, life was pretty good.

You were laughing out loud, shaking your head at the merc's outlandish antics when something heavy crashed into your front door.

Letting out a small shriek you leapt off the couch, thankful you'd already drank the cocoa or you'd be wearing it, tossed the unfinished comic on the coffee table and turned toward the door. Before you could even make your way to the peep hole the door crashed open, slamming hard enough into the wall behind it to leave a crack.

A large man stumbled into your apartment and all you could do was stand there in shock.

He was over six feet tall, heavily muscled and clad head to toe in red and black spandex.

Great, you thought, I'm going to be robbed by a Deadpool cosplayer... How ironic.

He looked dammed good though. The super suit was spot on, from the katanas strapped on his back to the pouches lining his utility belt. If you'd seen him at a convention you'd have been impressed, maybe even attracted if those muscles were real and not part of the costume, but as someone who just invaded your home you were less impressed and more terrified.

"Who the hell are you?" He growled, leaning heavily against the wall to the right of the door, cradling one arm to his stomach.

That was when you noticed one arm was barely attached. The flesh and muscle surrounding the devastating wound looked like ground beef, giving you serious thoughts of becoming a vegetarian. Blood ran freely down the forearm of his suit, soaking quickly into the small area rug you had in front of the door.

"Who the hell am I?" You repeated, anger, fear and concern all mixed in your voice. "This is my apartment! Who the hell are you?!"

The stranger slid slowly down the wall, leaving a trail of blood in his wake, to land bonelessly on the floor. Blood loss was obviously taking its toll.

Finally you snapped into action, hurrying to the bathroom for towels in hope of staunching the blood flow and grabbed your cell phone on the way to the kitchen, where the man lay, to call 911.

He eyed you suspiciously as you reached to wrap the towels around his arm, fighting back the increasing urge to vomit.

"Don't waste your time. It'll be good as new soon." He didn't sound at all worried.

"Yeah, sure. I'm calling 911." You pulled out your phone, trying to dial without getting blood on it.

This guy was taking the whole role playing thing way too seriously! Sure, Deadpool would have no problem healing such a grievous wound, he'd suffered a lot worse, but this guy obviously wasn't a fictional character, though he was apparently just as crazy as the merc with a mouth.

He snatched your phone away with his good hand before you could dial. "This isn't Earth-616 is it? I should have known. My apartment is never this clean. Though my TV is way nicer. Is that even HD? How can people still watch standard def these days?"