I Saw Her

Chapter 3

School semester started. My brothers and I went to school. My Mom found a part time job at the nearby convenience store. They had heard about my father's death and decided to take pity on her, giving her a job as a cashier.

However, she was underperforming. She was often late, unresponsive to other people talking to her, often stared into space.

She got thinner, as she refused to eat much. Her cheeks were sunken, her face got paler, and most importantly, she lost her happiness. She couldn't smile anymore. Not even once ever since that day had I seen her smile so cheerfully, so warmly.

Every day was hell to me.

I came home everyday, expecting to find her cooped up in her dark room in a sea of beer bottles, staring blankly into the television that was turned on.

She didn't get better.

We often got into fights. I would chide her not to stay cooped up at home, but when I turned off the television, she got into a frenzy and started to scream about how she wanted to watch the news to see if the terrorists were arrested. Sometimes it got physical, with me getting bruised by her hitting me.

I knew better than that though. Even after a month, they still weren't caught. They were already long gone. I wanted justice to be served too, but what can I do against this unjust world?

But it wasn't only her that was affected.

That day when I received the phone call, something in me broke. Nothing looked the same to me anymore. The leaves on the trees looked grey. People looked grey. Even the sky looked grey.

It was like everything was monotonous.

When people spoke, I could only see their mouths move, but I couldn't hear them.

I slowly began to lose all my friends. At first, they were concerned about me, asking if I was alright, consoling me and saying it was going to be okay. But still, I refused to talk to them and distanced myself away from them.

As such, one by one, they gave up on me. They decided I wasn't worth their time, as they had spent months trying to get me back on my feet but to no avail.

It didn't matter though. I didn't need friends.

They would have been taken away unfairly anyway, just like Dad was. I became alone at school and at home. My grades took a turn for the worst, as I didn't care about anything.

I quit my basketball club and often skipped school. Those things were insignificant anyway. I spent most of my time in the park, looking at the birds and trees and joggers. Sometimes there were families too. Oh, how I envied them. They were lucky, they didn't need to go through what I went through.

Everything was black and white. It was truly a boring and dull world. I lived my life just for the sake of living, barely surviving day after day. The crushing despair I felt, the grief I had to go through, it was so painful. I thought that after this, nothing will ever go right again.

But then, I saw her.