Chain reaction

I never knew that I could be so lonely! I face a battle every day of having to smile when I don't feel it, act happy when I am not, and be an actress when that's not my calling! Pulling myself together to make the world seem like a better.. isn't an obligation for me, it's a promise I made to myself for others! No not to God, I don't think that God would be proud of my unhappiness. I have everything I could ever want except I lack one thing and he means the most..... how could he be gone now of all times!

6 months prior....

It's the start of my senior year.. and I am in shock of it all!! Who knew I would make it to be head cheerleader, honor student, and have the best family, friends and boyfriend any girl could ask for? As each year got closer my hope for graduating lessened! Not for my grades or anything but as I had all these great memories I don't want to leave behind and I think others might agree with me!!

We got a new senior history teacher. And it just so happened that I had to be the one not paying that much attention and knock all papers out of his hand on the first day. I repeatedly apologized, picked up his papers, and asked "Is there anything else I could do for you?" He hesitated and finally answered "Yes, actually there is! I need some help with something in my room. If it's not to much trouble... will you follow me up there for a few minutes?" I agreed. His name was Mr. Hansen, he looked like he was early 30's. Maybe younger, you know what teaching can do to you! He had a soft brown hair color, the cut just enough where you could tell he didn't have gray hair, yet! Light brown eyes, sorta of a golden look, and a crisp white smile... he was an attractive teacher. I don't think he is my type though. Not like I am looking anyways!

He brings me up to room 227, he unlocks the door, and allows me.to come in. He left the door open..,new teacher, who knows what they try to say! Mr. Hansen mumble to himself for a second... and finally says something to me "I forgot to ask, what's your name?" with a strong, proud voice I said "Alexandria Rose Foster!" taking a small pause to show my gorgeous smile "but everyone calls me Rose." I think he thought i was hitting on him, but it doesn't mean anything.It wasn't a second later that he said in a polite tone "I like that in a student, bold.. not afaird to speak aloud. It's pleasant that I will get to teach you this year, my name is...." before he could finish I interrupt. "I know, I know.. Mr. Hansen. Am I correct?" He looks with a confused look and ask "How would you know my name out of all the new teachers this year?" as I thought how to answer it "Well, I work here a lot throughout the summer. And I noticed that they had put a new coache's name on the list.. Mr. Hansen. I saw one of your papers that dealt with something about your new scheduled practice and automatically knew." he chuckled at me for a second and started to explain what he needs help with, "Rose, I need some slight help with this darn filing cabinet. I can't get it open and all the other teachers said that only students would know" with a slight smile I thought to myself you came to work but have nothing to show for it "Oh, Mrs. Lester's filing cabinet that teacher was a handful and if she didn't want you in her stuff you wouldn't be" paused for second, "after her many years of being here she managed to get that thing stuck so bad only she and the ones that knew could get it open." looking embarrassed he asked "Were you one" his voice trailing off before finishing his sentence "....of them?" with a laugh "Why yes of course, Mrs. Lester is my aunt, but when I show you watch carefully." he mumbled okay "You pull up on the handle, move it to the right, jiggle it a little.. and ta da! There you have it a new filing cabinet and all the papers piled in the corner won't have to stay there now!!" he smiled with relief "Thank you, it better knowing I have a place to put all my stuff!" I quitely mumbled welcome but spoke up to ask "May I head downstairs now?" his reply "Why of course," I quickly ran down the steps.

When I arrived down to my old hang out place, right in front of the steps, leading up to the library, everyone was happy to know I was there this year!! With my work schedule last year I use to be late for school by about ten minutes. Now I hardly work any and get paid just as much! Sometimes being head cheerleader, works in my advantage. However that's not the only reason I don't work a lot, I also am always at the school with some project.. or fundraiser.. anything school needs help with. "Call Rose!" all the teachers and staff would say many times over when problems occur! As I stood there many of them asked if I knew if Jarred was coming. With my eyes rolled "Why would I know? We broke up two years ago and people still ask me.. "Do you talk to him" I am not that mean, I will be polite to him. "Do you know where he is at?" like no I am not his keeper." As everyone was apologizing to me for constantly asking, Joshua walked through the door. I tried to hush them all because Josh doesn't like speaking of my exes. (Joshua Wade Mitchell is my boyfriend of a year.) None them stop talking in time and he questioned me "What are they apologizing for?" I persistently told him "Nothing, Babe, nothing."

The first bell rang and Josh walked me to class as he did always. However, I knew that when he walked me to class this time, it was only to ask about what was going on back there. With a hesitated tone Josh questioned me "Why were they apologizing?" as he paused for a second he said "Don't say it was nothing, I know it was something." My response was "If it was something I would tell you, so it's nothing.... promise." We arrived to my locker, I hung my jacket up and once again started walking. Josh struggled behind me.. he was having issues with getting his jacket zipper unstuck. I turned around, as I was chuckling, I asked "Need help with that babe." Just so he wouldn't be humiliated in front of his friends, he hateful told me "No, I am not a child." I departed from him to attend homeroom, and I was glad I did because he was starting to get under my skin this morning.