The Art of Suicide (NaNoWriMo 2015)

Chapter 3

After Vivian had dropped that bomb, she looked like she wanted to take a very long nap or quite possibly even fall into a coma, so I made my excuses and crossed the hall to my room. I was sure that Zoey would stay with her and make sure she was okay, so at least I didn't need to be worried about her in that sense. I had just stepped through the doorway to my own room when I heard the sound of a door being closed and someone saying my name.

            I turned to see Mason standing just outside Vivian's door, his posture stiff and awkward. From what I had gathered from just being around him a few seconds that seemed to be his go-to thing, especially when he felt uncomfortable. I could say I knew the feeling; I hated being put in situations where I didn't know anyone and would rather just be alone and away from the world. I offered him a friendly smile, leaning against the doorjamb. "Hey, you okay?"

            His own smile was amiable, if a little forced. "Do you think she'll be okay?"

            My smile fell as I pushed off of the door and took a step backwards into my room, waving him forward. "I don't know. I hope so."

            Mason took the hint and shuffled forward, his face twisting into an expression of pain as he moved. I winced in sympathy as I closed the door behind him, not really wanting anyone (like Liam ugh) to overhear this conversation. Even though it seemed like some others in the school might be aware of what had happened to Vivian, that didn't mean she would want it circulating and causing more problems for her. For all I knew, what she had been through was the reason she had night terrors and it probably went a whole lot deeper than that.

            I was one of the few girls in this wing of the dorms that didn't have a roommate, which was one of the reasons Devyn was always sneaking in here and spending the night with me. There were two beds in my room, one on each side of the room, pressed against opposite walls. I took a seat on my bed while Mason limped over to the other one and lowered himself down onto it. Before either one of us could start talking, something occurred to me.

            "Is your room a safe place for you?" I blurted out without meaning to. Sometimes my filter just didn't kick in and all kinds of stuff just exploded out of my mouth. "I mean... Shit, sorry, I didn't mean to –"

            "Emelie," Mason interrupted me with a smile. "It's okay." After a moment of silence where his expression took on a sorrowful note, he added, "No, I don't have a safe place. I never have."

            That made me a lot sadder than it should have. Even when I had to deal with the bullies in the school I could always retreat to my room or text Devyn to come hang out with me. He had gotten his fair share of bullying so a lot of the time we shared our misery and drowned it in Disney movies and Netflix until we felt better. But Mason? To not have a safe place or anywhere to hide and recover from the injuries you'd been inflicted with...that was too much.

            "You can stay here. If you want," I tacked on quickly, not wanting to freak him out. "I mean, you don't deserve what they did to you."

            Mason studied me for a moment, his expression one of someone who didn't think there was anyone left in the world that they could trust. "You really mean that, don't you?" His voice was steady, but the look in his eyes gave away how afraid he truly was.

"Of course I do." It hadn't occurred to me that he would immediately think the worst of anyone that offered him kindness. "You don't deserve what they've done to you."

I already knew he wouldn't believe me, but that didn't stop me from saying it. What the idiot kids in this school had done to me was nothing compared to what they had done to him, but I knew more than a little bit about feeling like there was no one left that you could trust. That's always how I had felt around my family until they stuck me in here.