Lost And Found - A Trubute To Those Lost To Suicide

Eli's Story

Dear April,

I pray that this letter brings you comfort in your time of need. What transpired is not your doing. It was my own. Life has a funny way of building you up just to tear you down and I guess my situation is no different. I was tired- tired of living life like I was stuck. Everyday felt like the one before and even with my change in career, life didn't get better. You've made me so happy throughout our years together and I thank you for that. You made life worth living despite how mundane things were. And I don't want you to think that your love wasn't enough. It was everything to me. It was all I had and for a long time, that unwavering love was all I needed but clinging to someone else for happiness doesn't do much when you don't even have any of your own. I hope you hold on fondly to our memories together; late nights at Madison Square Park listening to The Beetles, our first date at The Diner drunk out our minds, coming to see me at my presentation for the new marketing team, the time our car broke down in that blizzard of '07 and how we sung oldies but goodies until the tow truck came. You always knew how to put a smile on my face and I wouod give anything to be able to see your beutiful smile wherever I go. I wrote a will with Jackie.... he knew everything. I'm leaving everything I own to you and our daughter. Thank you for giving me the best gift I couod ever ask for. thank you for staying with me through the AA meetings and the car crash. I didn't kniw how to explain what I was feeling to you or to Veah. So, here it goes. Tell her good things about me when she's old enough to understand. Tell her her daddy died valiantly- fighting a monster called depression. Tell her he wore a cape just for her and did everything he couod yo be the superhero she always knew he could be. When she asks about her father, tell her about how she was conceived to a Nirvana song on a Tuesday night and how I wanted to name her Nirvana because she was our little piece heaven. Tell her how daddy worked long hours and would come home and kiss you and her on the forehead before going to my next shift. When she cries about me, wipe her tears and tell her "there are things that aren't meant to be understood" and that her daddy was one of them. But please don't let her forget me. Please don't forget me.

Love,
Elijah

P.s- don't open the door.