Phils POV
I nervously paced back and forth behind the stage in London. 'Why is Phil backstage in London?' you may ask. Well, London is mine and Dan's final stop for our book tour (aka TATINOF) and it was going to be special. I was going to make sure it was special.
You see, me and Dan have been friends for a very long time. In reality it's only been about six years but we have been through so much together it feels like a lifetime. Ever since we first met I knew he would have a big impact on my life, however at the time I wasn't aware of just how big that impact would be. To basically cut a long, emotional story short...
I love him.
I love him so much that every time our eyes meet I feel the same connection I felt when we first met. I love him so much that every time he smiles I can't help but stare at the small indent of a dimple on the left side of his mouth. I love him so much that every time he has an existential crisis and doesn't want to communicate with anything or anyone, I barge into his room and insist that he comes and plays games with me or just go sit and talk over a hot drink because I hate to see him so lifeless. I want to make him see that he means so much to everybody, especially me.
I have wanted to show him for over a year now but it's never the right time. It needs to be perfect when I decide to tell him. There was always another radio show, another video, another meet and greet that got in the way (not saying that I don't enjoy those, I love doing them). But now I've found the perfect time. I've been planning it for about a month now and it's finally going to happen.
I decide to sit down on one of the beanbags backstage to calm my nerves before the show just as Dan walks in and sits next to me. He gives me a small smile and I can't help but stare back in admiration. He resumes 'the browsing position' on the beanbag, somehow without the help of the sofa crease, (don't ask me how, he's a meme he does what he wants) and sent me a worried glance.
"I can't believe this is the end" he says softly as he looks blankly at the wall in front of us.
"I know. I've enjoyed every minute of it though, even when I fell off the stage onto that poor girl while 'attempting' to twerk"
He let out a soft chuckle and my heart melted at the sound.
"DAN AND PHIL ON IN 5, 4, 3..."
"You ready?" Dan asked, giving me a concerned look.
I gave him a swift nod as the countdown reached one and we jogged out onto the stage as our ears filled with the screams of our wonderful fans.
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We had finally got to the last part of the show where we go through some of our favourite pages in The Amazing Book Is Not On Fire. This is where the plan begins.
We had just gone over Dan's final choice of the evening, his 'Reasons why Dan's a fail' page, when it was my turn.
"I think this one should be read by you Dan but you need to stand with you back to the audience for this"
He gave me a strange, questioning look and slowly moved to the middle of the stage and turned around while slowly saying "okay..."
I moved round the back of him while turning to the audience and motioned for them to stay silent throughout the whole thing.
"Phil, what are you..."
"Shhhh read the page Dan"
I opened up a small flap in the stage that held a bouquet of roses and waited for him to read what was on the screen.
" 'Reasons why Phil's a fail'? That's a new one" He says with a chuckle.
"Keep reading!" I urged.
"Okay okay don't get your knickers in a twist Phil!" He exclaimed while the audience laughed. He then continued to read the page, " 'So by this point you may be wondering what the heck is going on and why I'm standing behind you. Don't worry I'm not going to give you a surprise neck exam, stay calm and keep reading. There is really only one reason why I'm a fail ( I'm sure you can think of many more but that's not important right now). This reason is that in all our years of friendship I kept a secret from you. I would say it's a pretty big secret too.' " Dan paused and said warningly "Phil what have you done now?"
"Just keep reading the page Dan"
" Ugh fine but if you downloaded another .exe file onto my computer I'm not going to be happy"
I rolled my eyes while he continued to read.
" 'I firstly wanted to simply thank you for being my friend. You have been there for me through good and bad, thick and thin and I couldn't have asked for a better person to spend these past six years with. Without you I don't know where I'd be right now (probably somewhere a lot worse). However, I do know that without you I wouldn't be the person I am today. I wouldn't have much confidence, I would be lonely, and I definitely wouldn't be as happy as I am right now' "
By this point I could hear a slight quiver in Dan's voice as he read the touching words on the screen. I dare say there may be some sniffles coming from the audience as well but at the moment the only things I am interested in are Dan and the amount of sweat building up on my hands as the moment draws nearer.
" 'Now you know half of the amount you mean to me, maybe this will truly show you just how much.' " He pauses in confusion but continues to read on.
" 'Daniel James Howell, I love you. I have loved you for just over a year now and decided it was time to make my feelings known. Now this may come as a shock to you, ( I don't know why it would, I mean you're smart and I've been pretty obvious in drooling over every little thing you do ) but from my understanding you could be reacting in one of two ways right now:
1- You are jumping for joy inside because you like me too and you finally get to be held in the arms of the strong, manly, muscular being that is Phil Lester ;)
Or
2- You are slowly dying inside of embarrassment as your friend announces his unreturned feelings towards you in front of a huge audience of your fans and you just want to go home and never see me again.
(P.S. Really hoping it's the first one)' "
Dan let out a small laugh at this and nearly looked back at me before scrapping the idea and turning back to the screen.
" 'Before anything else happens I would like you to know that I love you with all my heart and all my soul and will continue to love you for as long as we both shall live (That sounds like a wedding vow lol RUINING THE MOMENT PHIL). Now you may turn around as I have one last question to ask you' "
I saw Dan wipe a tear and contemplate what to do before taking a deep breath and turning around to meet my loving eyes.
I slowly brought the huge bouquet of roses out from behind my back as we both stared at each other with happy eyes and the biggest grins on our faces.
"Dan?"
"Yeah?" He said while trying to dry his tear stained face with his sleeve.
"Will you do me the honour of being my boyfriend?" I asked with a happy tear slowly rolling down my beaming face.
And I swear, in that moment, silence had never been so heavy. The whole room seamed to be holding its breath in anticipation for the answer.
Dan looked back up at me with the biggest grin on his face as he slowly walked towards me.
"Of course I will you dork"
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