He tasted of summer in the late winter breeze ; never understanding what he meant by 'forever is not enough'. He always made me feel extra special, like for a split second he wasn't being sarcastic about loving me.
I loved him. That was a fact I , myself could not ever forget. It hurt, when he left me that night in the cold ; I waited for what had seemed forever that never came, he just left. Without a goodbye , without anything not even a smile.
I remember his touch; scent; face. Whenever I close my eyes , he seems to be the only person I see, which hurts actually. It hurts to love someone unconditionally and to have them leave you without an explanation and only with their best friends telling you that they 'don't ever want to talk nor see you again'.
It wasn't fair, what he had done to me, because I didnt deserved the treatment he had given me, I was nice. I was loyal. Most importantly , I never lied nor did I ever cheat. I'm not saying I would have, buh I did have opportunities . Not that I would have taken them of course. I mean I was completely madly in love with him.
Sometimes I think to myself, maybe he wasn't the right one, maybe I was just a rebound to get over his ex, buh then again, he is a very smooth talker and to be honest he could have asked the world from me and I would have given it.
What wasn't fair was the fact of how he said we were just 'friends' yet everyone knew we were most definitely something more. He loved me, I knew he did and he did try buh something just didn't go right between us, something triggered a flaw in both of us because that flaw completely broke us apart.
I tried my best, I tried to be sane when all of this was happening ; tried to be the stronger one ; tried to be okay when he kept drinking every night. There wasn't ONE night that he was sober through that month .. Not one. Did everyone think I was okay with it? That I enjoyed seeing him drink till he was out of his mind doing stupid things? Did I enjoy that? No. I sure as hell didn't and the sickess part was that he begged for me to let him drink. He fucking begged.
Its sad to say that I cared so much about him through whatever happened. I cared and loved ... And what did I get in return?i got a broken heart and only memories that come to me at night as dreams. That's what I fucking got for caring so much.
Tip: no matter how nice a person is, always keep in mind that every rose has a thorn.
