Defining You and Me

A-B

A

accentuate

It had always been well known that I loved Hajime. We grew up together, always at one another's homes, always with each other's parents; how could I not come to love him? Recently I think I may be stressing more about how I love him. Has the loved changed since we were only 5 year-olds who spend their time running around in the backyard? Maybe. I have and will always believe that him knowing that I love him is something of great importance. He might hate it, but I let him know in the most playful ways that end up meaning the most to me.

alacrity

I wanted to do more, I wanted to spend more time with him. I already spend almost every living hour with him, what more I wanted I was not completely sure of, but I know there was something. I was eager to go home in the evenings after a long practice and just lay across my bed with Hajime reclining in the chair opposite.

alleviate

Somehow when he was around, the pain seemed to dull. I thought that after injuring my knee that he would be too angry to even look at me because of me pushing myself too hard. When it all happened he was the first on there by my side, worried to death, asking if I was okay. Of course he still mumbled curses under his breath, but who wouldn't. Hajime had practically picked me up and carried me to the locker room where I was sat down. It hurt less knowing that he was there, willing to take care of me and maybe to finally knock some sense into me.

In later days, when the nights became cold and rainy, the pain would return. Hajime would be there, always. It could have been the conversations that preoccupied my mind, getting it off the pain that filled my knee. Or maybe it was the fact that my heart would beat faster than ever; my chest was in more pain knowing that I was falling for someone who would never love me the same way back.

ambivalent

I spend months pondering on what I should do. Long-sleepless nights become a common thing. What path I should take had yet to become clear to me. It might never become clear; maybe it will stay this foggy thought lingering in the back of my mind. Maybe one day I will pick a path, but for now I'm going to continue on the path I've been on for years.

amiable

He was too friendly, he had always been like that, but now it was killing me.

apathy

Hajime had met someone, a girl.

She was... nice.

austere

There was not much that I had to do to change my life, it was simple. Three words to the right person could change it all. It is ridiculously simple, this could have all been resolved, we could have had two happy people again, but yet look what the situation is. A happy boy, a happy girl, and a lonely bestfriend who is slowly being forgotten.

avuncular

Kind; that's one word I would use to describe him. To people who he just met, he was shy, to people who have never met him face-to-face, he was mean. To me, he was kind.

He is one of the most caring people I know. He cares about the team, he cares about his parents and his siblings and even his pets. He cares for his classmates and the lady who works the shop down the street. He cares about the coaches, the teachers, and other school staff.

He cares about me.

B

balk

He invites me to tag along on their date to the movies. I decline.

bemused

The time we spend together has decreased. Practices is when I see him the most. There will be a rare night here and there that he will be invited over by my parents for dinner. He is always too preoccupied to go come over, there is always an excuse.

I don't know where my best friend went.

billowing

Too many emotions had built up inside of me. I had gone too long without spilling my feelings out to someone. Hajime had always been the one I'd cry or complain to; it was no different this time, just now it was in the middle of the court during practice.

He couldn't go back to her, not after what she did. I was just letting him know that.

bleak

I was losing hope. It had been 5 days and he had yet to say a word to me. I was beginning to regret what I said even though it was the truth. I thought that I had finally lost my best friend forever. I'm not sure I could live without him, so I'm glad that he knocked on my door on Friday, in the middle of the pouring rain.

"I'm sorry, Tooru."

brink

"Hajime..."

broach

I apologized and so did he. Him being there just made me smile. I invited him in, we went to my room like we used to. I laid on my bed, while he reclined back in his usual seat. We stayed quiet most the time which I think is what we needed. I just needed him in my presence, I needed to know that we could be like this and be okay again. I needed to know that he would still once again be my best friend. No topic ever came up, not until I invited him to spend the night, after that we started talking like we had never stopped.

burgeon

My love for him had never stopped growing. It had slowed when we were not talking, but being close to him again made my love for him grow faster than before. My love is one day going to be too much for me to keep to myself.