Phobia

6

Aleksandr shook his head and bit his lip, burying his head further into james' chest, "i-I cant! I-I cant d-do it, j-jordan!" the russian's boyfriend cooed comforting words into his ear as rocked his gently.

"you have to! You have to get sea back!" eddie looked up with a soft sob, wiping his eyes with his sleeves and looking at his boyfriend, biting his lip and whimpering.

Aleks whined, "I cant do it! D-don't make me do it!" kevin looked around the room with a sigh before shaking his head and linking his hand with jordan's, biting his lip.

"what's happening jor..?" he whispered, "why is this happening to us?" the hatted male shrugged slowly and looked down at their hands, swinging his arms slightly.

"I don't know baby..." he looked over at the couple on the floor briefly, frowning more.

"it's gonna be okay A, you wont hurt him; just give it a try." Aleks shook his head and whined, gulping and whining.

"b-but-" he sniffed and curled up more, "h-he'll b-be an-angry and ha-hate me..." sly looked up and sniffed heavily, rubbing his eyes more.

"i-I'll make sure he isn't, just please wake him up..." the Russian looked over at eddie hesitantly before nodding slowly and looking at seamus, staring at him with a soft frown as his face turned slightly red with the effort.

"come on baby, you can do it..." james kissed the top of his head.

Aleksandr grit his teeth before sniffing and sighing out heavily, his face still red, "w-wake up..!"

The blonde shot up from out of his chair and gasped, falling to his knees on the floor and holding a hand over his chest, panting and wheezing.

"sea!" eddie leapt out of his seat and pulled seamus onto his lap, hugging him tight, "you're okay! You're okay!" seamus nodded weakly and nuzzled back into sly, mumbling a small yeah.

"well done baby, you did so well." James whispered carefully to aleks, kissing above his ear softly, "well done." The Russian bit his lip and nodded, sinking into james tiredly and whining, his wooden body aching.

"im sorry seamus..." he whispered, looking over at the blonde and biting his lip, "i-im sorry for controlling you... i-i... I didn't mean to..." the eldest in the room bit his lip and nodded into his boyfriend's chest, letting out a shaky sigh.

"i-im sorry for shouting... I shouldn't have done that..." Aleksandr smiled slightly and leaned into james a little more, his grip loosening on his shirt as his body became heavy and his eyes tired.

Kevin looked over at aleks slowly and furrowed his brows, "he looks exhausted..." he muttered to Jordan, worrying his bottom lip.

"I know... it must have pushed him to his limit..." their boss sat up slowly and slipped off his hat, putting it on the table before holding his head in his hands, sighing gently before letting his head settle on the cold wood.

The half Asian rubbed his back slowly, "you don't look too good either baby..."

"are you okay, A? you look really tired..." the russian nodded with a soft whine, curling up more in james' lap.

"m'fine... jus' a little bit sore..." he sniffed and looked up at the elder with half lidded eyes, "can we just go home..?"

James looked up at Jordan and kevin, frowning gently, "can I take him home..? he's hurting..."

kevin frowned and nodded slowly before looking at everyone in the room, "everyone should go home, you don't have to come in tomorrow if you don't want to." The latino smiled thankfully as he stood up, helping aleks get up with him, before leaving the room.

"a-are you sure..?" seamus' voice was quiet, "d-didn't we have a sketch to do?" kevin smiled softly in return.

"dan's not here so there's no point anyway," he continued rubbing jordan's back, "you're free to go home and relax, we'll- I'll call you when you guys should come in." eddie smiled thankfully and helped the blonde up with a soft smile, rubbing his hip as they walked out together.

"you're amazing..." Jordan whispered against the table, slipping a hand onto his boyfriend's thigh, "what would I do without you..?"

"most probably starve to death or pass out from lack of sleep," kevin chuckled gently, standing up and dragging his boss to his feet, grabbing the hat and slipping it onto his own head before slinging the other's arm around his shoulder. "c'mon, I'll drive us home..." the elder of the two sniffed slightly before nodding and walking along tiredly next to kevin, keeping his arm around him.

"I love you so much..." the half Asian chuckled softly, squeezing his boyfriend's shoulder.

"I love you too boss cat, lets get you home."

-

James and Aleksandr walked into their house slowly, the younger silent as he leant into his boyfriend with wide eyes, worrying his bottom lip before sniffing and walking into the kitchen, away from james.

"aleks, we know it was an accident. Don't worry." James soothed, walking in after him and leaning against the doorway.

Aleksandr stayed silent and opened the fridge blankly, taking out a water bottle and opening it, sipping it gently as he looked up at james with a soft frown before whispering a small I don't wanna hurt you...

James frowned more, "you wont hurt me baby, it's okay." He took a step forwards, eyes widening when aleks took a step back, staying away from him.

"d-don't..." the Russian circled his boyfriend carefully before sliding out of the door and limping upstairs slowly.

"aleks..." james sighed, walking after him and catching up easily, "you're not gonna hurt me, ever." Aleks turned to face james, biting his dark brown lip.

"b-but what if I do james..? wh-what if we fight a-and I tell you to do something? I don't want you to get hurt..." the elder smiled comfortingly and walked closer, taking aleks' hands.

"well," he started, rubbing his thumbs over the marred knuckles, "I'd forgive you. None of this is your fault, or anyone's really. So if anything were to happen then it would be okay, okay?"

"b-but james," Aleksandr squeezed james' hands tight, his eyes wide as he stuttered, "but I wouldn't ever forgive myself, i-if I hurt you then i-I'd-"

"then you'd be fine, and you'd just... not care." James smiled gently and hugged the Russian close, hiding his face in his (newly) tanned neck, "because otherwise I'd feel bad too."

Aleks sighed and cuddled closer with a broken mewl as he teared up, rubbing his cheek against his partner's warm chest, "o-okay..."

James buried his face in aleks' coarse hair and sighed; bringing him closer before sighing again with a gentle should we go to bed..?

Aleks nodded gently and began to walk to the stairs, still wrapped around james, then leading them both up to their room.

~

Each man, on their first night, dreamt of their biggest fears. some let their fear show while the others, as tormented as they were, never let it show.

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Word count: 1202

I don't even know if it's Wednesday my depressions throwing everything off everything's kinda hard now