Bad Jokes!

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A guy walks into a wedding reception. He goes up to the bartender and asks, "Is this the punch line?"
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Yo momma so ugly that when she walks in the kitchen, the mice jump on the table and start screaming.
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Q:Did you hear about what happened at the Laundromat last night?

A:Three clothes-pins held up two shirts!
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Q:Why did the room packed with married people seem empty?

A:Because there wasn't a single person there.
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Q:I was once in a play called "Breakfast in Bed."Did you have a big role?

A:No just toast and marmalade!
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Q: What's the best way to ensure that you'll always remember your wife's birthday?

A: Forget it once.
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Knock, knock!
Who's there?
Accordion!
Accordion who?
Accordion to the TV, it's going to rain tomorrow.
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Yo momma so stupid she tried to commit suicide by jumping off a building but got lost on the way down.
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Teacher: Why is the Mississippi such an unusual river?

Student: Because it has four eyes and can't see!
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How do you make an elephant float?

Take one elephant, two tons of ice cream, and one ton of soda. Blend.
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In the event of a plane crash, locate the nearest woman with implants and use her as a flotation device.
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Teacher: Now class, whatever I ask, I want you to all answer at once. How much is 6 + 4?

Class: At once!
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A neutron walks into a bar and asks, "How much for a beer?"
The bartender replies, "For you? No charge."
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Teacher: Tell me a way to prevent a disease caused by biting insects.

Student: Don't get bitten by them!
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Q: Why did the bride wear white?

A: Because the groom wanted his dishwasher to match his fridge and oven.
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Q:What would happen if you were to cross two snowmen with three vampires?

A:You would get severe frostbite.
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