Love Always, Donte.

Hard

I've only been here for a few days.

Only been locked inside of myself since Monday.

Forgotten what a hug of home feels like since Tuesday.

Traded aliases with actuality since Wednesday.

And the last time I felt like myself was Thursday.

It's Friday and sometimes I'm scared to look at myself in the mirror.

I call this place home.

And besides the girls who would never part their lips in my direction, it kinda feels like it.

Feels like open doors and embraces.

That's where I'm scared.

Never worried about walking through the door.

Just focused on what happens after the door closes.

Lately, It's just been black.

A mixture of random phrases and broken vision.

I worry about fitting in, but often forget that I might not have the right frame.

These days make me scared to find it. 

Believing that everything I touch turns into a synonym of my soul.

Shattered.

Praying that one day I can hold something tight enough to prevent it from crumbling.

I haven't developed these Superman arms yet.

Kinda disappointing seeing how the only thing my arms have ached for...

is you.

But I'm terrified.

Afraid that these stone-covered appendages would destroy your glass figure.

I've noticed the first crack.

From where I held you too long,

greedy.

Trying to snatch as many seconds of embrace before I let the wind have you again.

Sorry for so much pressure.

I just wanted to see what would happen if I held a diamond for too long.

Held it so close to my chest that I mistook it for the only thing keeping me going.

I wanted to know if I could make you stronger.

Not that you need it.

I just wanted the rarity.

I'm sorry for that crack.

It seemed to have pulled us away.

And I'm praying that time heals all, but I'm scared of running out.

Scared that some man will do everything the right way.

This may sound weird when you read it,

but understand that I'm tired of breaking so many things.

I just don't want your name on the list.

I'm sorry.

For giving concrete cuddles....

and hard hugs.