Just Me

Chapter Four

I woke up crying, screaming, flailing, doing anything I could to get my mom or dad's attention. I got both.

"What is it Faith, what's wrong? Did you fall, are you hurt?" my mom said. There wasn't that much urgency in her voice, but that's because this happens quite often. Normally, the situation is that I fall out of bed, and I can't get up. Hey, there's a purpose for my life, to be an actress on the Life Alert commercial. Ha ha, I crack myself up.

To reply to my mother, I point to my head, hoping she will get it. She does, she always does.

"Bad nightmare? Aw, sweetheart, it's alright. Everything is OK. Dreams aren't real, remember?" I shake my head no. Even though my mothers embrace makes me feel comforted and safe, I know that my dream was real. It was a sign. I know who was in the accident.

Man, this is going to be hard to explain to my mom.

"What? It was real. Try and tell me what it was about," she told me. I pointed to the window, and she brought me to it. Then I pointed in the direction of the accident. I got a confused look from her and my father. Ugh.

I then attempted to make a crashing noise and smash my hands together. Then I made really lame siren noises. "The accident? Did you dream about the accident?" my dad asked.

I nodded my head yes. "Faith, it's alright. The accident is cleaned up and nobody is hurt, " my mom assured me.

HA! If I could laugh, I would. That was the worst lie ever. You're supposed to say that to a six year old, not a fourteen year old girl who is probably smarter than everyone in her school. (Oh ya, forgot to mention that.)

My mom's telling me that everything's OK. That one of my favorite people in the world was basically slaughtered in that accident and it's OK. OK.

I bet they didn't find out today. And since there's no way of me telling it to them, they are just going to have to wait until the call, or the knock on the door, or whatever the officials that are in charge of the dead plan to do. Fun.

~

He was unexpected. His parents weren't really looking for a child. His parents were way too busy getting drunk at bars and then, you know, doing stuff when they got home. But then one night they forgot protection, like they do every once in awhile, and his mom got pregnant.

Let me just say, his parents weren't the best parents to grow up with. They drank, they fought, they weren't married, the dad was bipolar,and they both didn't really have a job. I have no idea why they didn't just get an abortion, the mom seemed like that kind of woman. But I guess even the worst people can have a soft side. But then something went wrong.

The mom (Janet) didn't know she was pregnant until she got MORE then just a little bump. So she continued on drinking and smoking and dancing and having sex. Not good.

The doctors don't know if he would've come out the way he did even if Janet was careful, but he came out they way he did either way.

He came out like me. Or I came out like him, since he was older than me.

I guess Janet wasn't happy when he came out. Hey, all parents with disabled children are upset, confused, angry, blameful, etc. when they find out that their child isn't ever going to be normal. Especially if it is their first born. But the parents end up loving their child for who they are anyway, like most parents.

His parents weren't like most parents. Janet, didn't end up loving him.